Parenting Teens after a Divorce It is very difficult for the teen of divorced parents to cope with being caught in the middle. A teen doesnt like feeling that he/she must act as a messenger between hostile parents. It is unfair to make your teen carry messages to your ex because you find it too awkward or aggravating to do so yourself. Try whenever possible to avoid arguing or discussing child support issues in front of your teen. Most teens upon hearing these things fear that their existence is a burden on their parents. Please do not put your teen in the middle of child support or parenting disputes. It also hurts your teen very much to hear one loved parent criticize the other loved parent. When teens hear bad things about one parent, they often hear bad things about one-half of themselves. Even if you feel youre right, criticizing the other parent around your kids isnt a wise choice. DESTRUCTIVE REMARKS YOU SHOULD NOT MAKE: Youre lazy/stubborn/ill-tempered, just like your mom/dad. Your mother/father put you up to saying that. Your dad/mom doesnt love any of us or he/she wouldnt have left us. You cant trust her/him. He/she is just no good. If she/he loved you, she/he would send your support checks on time. Asking your teen to take your side in any situation regarding your ex-spouse can create a tremendous amount of stress for your teen. Your teen wants to love both of his or her parents. Your teen will have the best chance of growing up to be a healthy individual with both parents acting as positive role models and nurturers. You want to facilitate your teen having access to the good that each of their parents have to offer. (Acknowledging Ruben Francia) LosAngelesTeenTherapist
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 16:35:48 +0000
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