Parenting epiphany in 3, 2, 1..... Zayida loves the water. She and I were hiking up a beautiful mountain stream. Gil, ever watchful while we were playing, walked the shore along side us. The water was moving, the rocks uneven and slippery, and the grade was up but not steep. Zayida held my hand for balance and picked her way up the stream fearlessly, absolutely SURE that if she stumbled I was there to catch her. And I did. Every time. There were a few spots when the stream was too narrow for us both to pass or there were branches over hanging that she could navigate underneath but I could not where I would let her go on her own. Instantly she was more cautious, careful and deliberate and each time when she would make it through to me she would reach up and grab my hand. Here is the epiphany. That moment she would reach for me and all caution disappeared so visibly was so powerful and special I can see how it could become almost addictive. A child so deeply knows that you will protect them that they fear nothing. I see why it is so difficult to allow children the chance to falll. Why some parents seem to never allow their children the opportunity to take a risk. Keeping them from falling FEELS SO GOOD. But they need to fall a little. They need to see they can do it on their own even when it is difficult. Even if they fall. They need to know they can get back up. It is as much about parents, step parents, grandparents letting go of that amazing feeling of being the protector, the hero. I want Zayida to know I will stand in front of her to protect her from real harm. Stand behind her to catch her when she falls but most of the time I am just going to walk along side of her and let her do her thing.
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 23:23:42 +0000
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