Parents teach children the Kalabari aristocratic ideal, and often choose unexpected circumstances to teach their wards the high points of the ideal. There is a story of a fathers attempt to find a job for his teenage son in Port Harcourt, the capital of Rivers State. As the story goes, on a beautiful day in the early 1980s, a Kalabari chief said to his unemployed son, Follow me, I am taking you to Dr. Wigwe, the State commissioner [secretary] for education. Son, this morning I will introduce you to Wigwe and he will give you a job. The son walked a step or two behind the father. The old man, in his 70s, was tapping the ground with his cane in the fashion that says I am a Kalabari chief and I am very important in this State. During the trip to Dr. Wigwes office the father repeated several times, Son, I am personally taking you to Dr. Wigwe who will give you a job in his ministry. Now inside the government secretariat, on their way to Wigwes office, they met a female Kalabari receptionist who was a little surprised to see the chief, a long retired civil servant, in the government offices that morning. She politely asked him what had brought him and his son to the secretariat. The man proudly told her that he had come to see Wigwe for a job for his son with a high school diploma. Emphasizing, today, Wigwe will give my son a job. The receptionist escorted them to Wigwes lounge where all those waiting to see the commissioner rested. The old man filled the necessary forms and sat down to wait. He waited for hours, but his turn never came to see the big man. When he thought he had waited long enough, he gracefully stood up and softly told his son, Yewa so wari mu. Wigwe bem ori enete iyeribia bee, yariso arienete oreribia. Kalabarinabo amenebu ke sikiri kuroma kuromaa, meaning Let us go home, if Wigwe says he cannot see me, I cannot see him either. A Kalabari person does not put himself/herself in an undignified (subordinate, inferior, demeaning) position. On this note, he tapped his walking stick on the rugged floor and left the lounge. On the way out of the secretariat he stopped at the office of the receptionist who asked him how his meeting with the commissioner went. He replied, My daughter, I am going home. If Wigwe says he cannot see me I cannot see him either. A Kalabari person does not put himself in an undignified position. Kalabari say the lesson the father was impacting to his son was that a Kalabari person should not renounce all dignity, style and grace in the pursuit of any goal. The guiding principle is bu nimi - know yourself, know that you are a Kalabari person. Courtesy: Mujahid Dokubo-Asari
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 11:21:30 +0000