Part 2 What did I not do for my child? My only child. I brought him up despite having been widowed before he was born. My husband was killed in an anti-apartheid protest. At the time I was 6 months pregnant. I didn’t know how we’d survive or how I’d pick myself up. How would I support our unborn child all by myself? My parents didn’t have enough money to support us and neither did my in-laws. I knew I’d have to do something from home to support myself and my baby. I gave birth at home with the help of a midwife. When Fareed was born I never felt more alone or insecure. I decided to start making and selling things from home to earn a living. I sewed scarves and socks and sold them from home. Soon people were giving me clothes and outfits to stitch. That’s how I generated an income. I used that same money to put Fareed through school. It wasn’t a fancy school, I couldn’t afford a fancy school but most indian children went to government schools in those days. I wanted Fareed to do something with his life so that he wouldn’t end up like me. Those were long hard years. I had no support and any money I earned had to support us in terms of food, lights and water, clothes and school fees. There was no money for luxuries. I sacrificed whatever I had just so that my Fareed wouldn’t go to school hungry and with torn clothes. Later on I saw a need to make savouries. So in addition to sewing I started making and selling food from home. In that way I managed to put Fareed through school and then came university. We had to start searching for bursars and after much difficulty we finally found one. When Fareed finished university and started working things were good. Fareed’s income looked after us and I was so proud of my son for having risen out of his adverse circumstances. When this Aatiqah came along things changed. He fell for her, married her and she made our lives hell. She insisted that I be put in a hospice because she didn’t want to care for me. The home that I helped Fareed buy is the very same one she’d kicked me out of. She made him leave me here in this place alone. How unfair it is that I’m deprived of my family. That I can’t see my grandson Zain. That I have to spend my days in this place. After everything I did for my son, this is how he repays me? Grace disturbs my thoughts when she comes to fetch me for supper. She can see that I’ve been crying but she doesn’t say anything. She understands. ‘Aren’t they coming?’ I ask Grace referring to my room mates. ‘Um, no they’re not strong enough to sit upright and eat so we feed them here in the room’ she says. I turn back to look at them. A reminder of what I am to become. I walk with Grace to a small dining room. There are only a few of us seated on the table. Helena and Grace join us. Supper is soup and bread. I prod the soup trying to decipher what’s in it. ‘What’s in here?’ I ask Grace unsure of whether it has any haraam contents. ‘Its vegetable soup. Its those packet soups with water and a few fresh vegetables’ I sigh in relief. The soup is bland and almost tasteless, its not what I’m used to but its what I have to eat because there are no other alternatives. Helena and Grace are the only ones that make conversation on the supper table. I learn that there are 4 more rooms like my own and that Grace rotates between them during the day. A few nurses arrive daily to monitor us but they’re only here from 8am-4pm. After supper Grace helps those in wheel chairs to their rooms while I make my way to my room using my walking stick. I thank Allah for having spared the use of my legs. I’m not as incapacitated as the other inhabitants. To my knowledge I’m the only Muslim person here. I feel awkward. How am I supposed to make namaaz? Where am I supposed to put my Quraan? What am I going to do when something with haraam ingredients is prepared? I pull the curtain around my bed and change into pajamas. Its difficult, I’m not used to changing in such a small space with so little privacy. A few minutes later Grace arrives and helps my room mates change. Thereafter she leaves and bids us goodnight.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 10:00:02 +0000