Part 3 of my testmoney Even Thoe I was clean of crack when I come back to the uk I was still drinking acerhole and smoking weed my self harming was getting worse and I was becoming more depressed and more sucidel I was eventully diagnosed with persanlty dissorder and bipolar , coral took me kids to Devon with a friend of mine and another friend from church it was a chirstain hotel we really enjoyed it there but my low moods were taking over even Thoe I was hiding them one day I went out alone walked to the top of the cliffs i layed up there and I started asking for the sprit of death to come in me I gave permission for the devil to take my life I dont no how I knew how to do this stuff but somehow I did afther that I feel asleep few hours later went back to hotel . We come back from Devon things were still up and down I was smaking the kids I could no longer cope as soical services was already involved In my life I called a meeting told them I was hitting the kids and couldnt cope I agreed to let my mum and coral take the children untill I could look afther them again things got worse i took a few overdose one I was out of it for a few days dont rember much but I was taken to a friends house while she looked Aftger me a few weeks later I took another overdose this one was more seriouse coral had come to my house with 2 other church members I was uncontuse when they come my little boy who was only about a year and half at the time started screaming as soon as he come in the house he hadnt seen me coral found me in the bedroom she then told the other church member to wait in car with my son while her and another church member tryed to help me . My breathing started to become shallow almost stopping they were praying but nothing was helping then coral rembered what I told her I done in Devon giving permission to the devil for my life she began a different kind of prayer it was a kinda of sprital court asking god to forgive me our something like that Im not sure execlley what as I was out of it didnt no what was happing my breathing did start coming back a little the ambulance arrived the had to give me oxygen and rushed me in on a blue light I was taken to resuse they hooked my up to them mechine to monerert my heart and stuff pumped my stomach I was only told this as I dont rember nothing while I was in there a man come in he kissed me on the head and said everything would be ok i woke up briefly as he kissed me on my head and see he sat at the top of my bed I must if gone uncontuse again I must of been going in and out of contesness and out again as woke up down stairs in resuse think it was next morning as they keeped me in there over night then I woke up again in the ward coral and a friend was there trying to feed my charkcol I could not see them everything was blurry but I regernised her voice I tryed to speak but could,nt hardly talk and I had no control over my body as when I tryed to lift up my head woukd go all over the place I had loads bruises on my face where my head kept hitting of the bars on the bed were i had no control over my body I was like this for about 3 4 days . While I was in resuse the doctors told coral they were baffled of why the tablets I took had that effect as they shouldnt of they didnt think I was going to make it through the night and when I did pull through they didnt no what damage I had done to my brain as the feared I woukd be brain Damage but I made a fast recovery and was out Aftger a week walking and talking fine , I also ask who the man was who come to see me when I was in resuse and was told no one come as no one was alloud in with me not even coral I believe that man was an angel Will continue tommrow god bless all xx
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:11:40 +0000
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