Pauls Answer from God - The Rain The year was 1991 and I was a 21- year-old atheist. Although I had been baptized as an infant in the Methodist church, God had become just a myth to me. I had no need to seek him. I knew all the answers. Then I met Terri. For the first time in my life I cared for someone other than myself. Yet she was a Christian and I was an atheist. But God had a plan to tear down my old self and rebuild a new self. A Reason to Live I had never thought much about my own mortality. My inevitable death wasnt real to me. But in the summer of 1992, all of that changed. One day, I was at work and suddenly I felt strange. I began to feel dizzy and nervous. I had to go home. I quickly got worse and became convinced that I was dying. For two weeks I lay in a darkened room waiting for my heart to stop. Finally, though I didnt really believe, I started to ask God for help. Please help me God, I dont want to die. For the first time in my life, I really wanted to live. Terris love and friendship had given me a reason to live. I sought medical help. After many tests, they couldnt find anything physically wrong with me. They suggested I get mental help. I saw both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I was diagnosed with depression , panic attack disorder, and agoraphobia (fear of public places). This was not a good combination for a college student trying to attend large lectures! I Began Seeking God Over the next three years I began seeking God and slowly improving. Through it all Terri was with me, patiently helping and teaching me. I didnt know how to pray , so I asked her. She taught me how to say thank you to God. I read the Bible and tried to believe. But God still wasnt real to me. I had been reading about how the Israelites had been carried off in slavery to Babylon. I began to identify with their captivity. I was a slave to my afflictions, a slave to my sin, a prisoner in a fallen world. It seemed like there was nothing I could do to stop evil from winning. I began to get very depressed as the feeling of hopelessness grew. But God was planning a surprise that would change my life! It was spring of 1995. I had been very depressed for quite some time about the state of the world and how my little life seemed insignificant. I felt useless, powerless, and very sad. I wish it would rain ... I wish it would rain. I thought this over and over to myself one particular day. You see, I lived in Arizona, where it rarely rains. But when it does, its so refreshing. The choking dust is washed from the air. The sight and smell of rain always made me feel better. I wish it would rain ... However, the likelihood of rain that day was very remote. It was all hot blue desert sky. Perhaps there were a few tiny, spotty clouds, but nothing to get hopeful over. I Wish it Would Rain I felt so down and depressed. I said this over and over in my head. I wish it would rain ... I wish it would rain. Later that afternoon, my despair had become unbearable. I was in my apartment crying and Terri was doing her best to comfort me. I felt like one of the prisoners of Babylon. Evil seemed to be everywhere, triumphing over good. There was nothing I could do about it. So, there I was, consumed with despair and crying. Terri was still trying to comfort me. Then, something happened that my stubborn, scientific mind couldnt explain. The weight of my despair about the state of my world and the helplessness I felt welled up inside of me. Then from the depths of my soul with all my being, in a loud voice I cried out to God, My God, I feel like Im living in Babylon! *splash* *splash* *SPLASH* As the echo of my cry reached my ears, I heard another sound - the sound of rain hitting the roof! Suddenly, I felt my anguish turn inside-out. It was replaced with joy, hope, peace and the knowledge of a living, loving God. My sobs turned to laughter! God had sent me rain. For the first time, I believed. I knew that God is real! Gods Answer It went from raining to pouring. We ran outside to see an awesome and incredible sight. From my second floor apartment we could see nothing but blue sky all around the city, except for directly over head. It was raining buckets right over my apartment. Others noticed the sudden downpour and emerged with puzzled looks on their faces, staring at the sky in amazement. I just grinned and enjoyed Gods answer to my silent prayer. I realized that I had been given a very special gift--a sign from God. A sign that he knows our thoughts and needs. I believe he wanted me to know that he is in control and evil is not going to win. I had been seeking him with all of my heart and soul. I had called out to him and he had answered in a miraculous fashion. This is the testimony that I share with you today. God is real. He knows our inner-most thoughts, and loves us all very much. He loved me enough to send a sign from heaven to an atheist turned seeker. Well, now Im a believer! This experience that my scientific mind couldnt explain, was the beginning of my belief. It was the mustard seed of faith thats now growing inside me.
Posted on: Sun, 24 Aug 2014 09:20:46 +0000
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