Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month, Day 29: In November 2012, we were becoming convinced that the experimental chemo drug Ryan was receiving was, in fact, working. Ryan seemed to have more energy, she was losing a bit of weight, and her hormonal side-effects lessened. We were planning to travel to St. Jude in just 2 days to confirm our positive thoughts with scans. Then Ryan came down with a cold. It was not a little cold, though. She was coughing and wheezing and gasping for air at times. I spent an entire night sleeping on the floor of her bedroom next to her, trying to comfort her. Early the next morning, Jeff took her to the Kansas City Childrens Mercy ER, where we learned that Ryans lung had collapsed. Childrens Mercy consulted with St. Jude, and scans were conducted in Kansas City rather than Memphis. We will never forget being called into a small consultation room, on a conference call with Dr. Federico, from St. Jude. We were back in the place where Ryan was initially diagnosed, and three years later, we were being told there was nothing left to do. Ryans lungs were filled with tumors. This is what caused her lung to collapse. The new treatment was not working at all. Ryans tumors were growing at an alarming rate, and no one was sure how much time she had remaining. There was nothing Ryan wanted more than to be at her Grandma Ohios house in Columbus, Ohio, so we were determined to make this happen. St. Jude arranged a medical ambulance to transport her. Ryan said goodbye to all of her friends in Kansas City and was transported to Nationwide Childrens Hospital in Columbus. She would be in and out of the hospital on hospice care, but we tried to make her last moments the best they could be. We celebrated Christmas, went to a Carrie Underwood concert (with backstage passes so Ryan could meet Carrie), visited the animals with Jack Hannah at a behind the scenes tour at the Columbus zoo, and celebrated Ryans 11th birthday. Thank you, friends, to those who have donated and shared our story this month. Parents should not be forced to discuss, let alone prepare their child for death at the age of 11. How do you look a child in the eye - a child who has done everything asked of her and endured every painful treatment possible - and tell her there is nothing left to do? Her long, hard battle would not result in the victory she most definitely deserved. For Ryan, life was tragically unfair. If you have the means, please consider a tax deductible donation to the Team Ryan Charitable Foundation for Pediatric Cancer Research at teamryanfoundation.org.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 23:12:53 +0000
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