People, I have come to learn to let my parents control me. They told me they loved me and then they beat me up neglected me everytime I tried to be independent and they hurt me and the lashings were a slipper on my thigh until I coudlnt scream anymore. I have learnt self-flagellation, and it nearly took me to my grave.I know how to get well, and im lying or flattering myself when I say Ill hellp myself have a normal heart rte of textbook 100/60 in the 80s. I am about to eat myself to death with oatmeal and honey cake. I know i have the strenth in god and the lord to beat this thing and turn it around, but i am also shackled so much that I dont have free will. maybe ill receive brain damage, kidney failure, or go blind or have cancer. Only time will tell me. all I know is I wish I had the freedom of choice, and not the taste buds for fat and msg and aspartame. please forgive me, my chance for health is an illusion, put there by my mother. Im dying people, and all I can do is to say be good and love one another - just like jerry springer says at the end of his show. I learnt co-dependency in this life. I leant to hurt those that hurt me. I have rescinded and now I love those that hurt me. what a paradox!. so whats the answer? My health is suffering,and so am I. I wish everyone health wealth and beauty. Maybe i can die now? Ive learnt my lesson. Be good to everyone including those who hurt you - I mean my parents, and unconditonal love to all even though they may like my parents did to me even though they torture you. May this message, my lifes mission and purpose be understood by all. My time is either coming to an end, or I am going to live a life a charitable faith filled life - who knows? god/IT/universe.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 20:39:42 +0000
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