People You Dont Need in Your Life (from the writings of Jeff Haden) “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The people closest to you make all the difference – in good and bad ways. Its a lot easier to spot the people closest to you who are holding you back. Let subtraction result in addition. If people like these are close to you, get rid of them: 1. DEVILISH ADVOCATES A devilish advocate rarely advocates for anything other than their own ego and point of view. Perspective is often just bragging in disguise. Voice of reason is often just the voice of ego or the voice of a person who tried and failed and therefore thinks no one else can -- or more likely should -- ever succeed. Keep the people who ask smart questions, share lessons learned and what to do differently, and offer to help if a problem does occur. Get rid of the people who invariably forecast doom and gloom based solely on their bad experiences. 2. RAVING FANS On the other end of the spectrum is the person who thinks your every thought and deed is astounding, amazing, and incredible. Unconditional praise is fun but rarely helpful. None of us are that smart, that insightful, or that talented. Everyone gets it wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. But often we dont realize it until someone tells us. Its easy to tell someone he or she is great. Its much, much harder -- it takes a real friend -- to tell someone he or she can do better. 3. INSIDE SCOOPERS Its hard to resist inside information and gossip. Finding out the reasons behind someones decisions, the motivations behind someones actions, the inside scoop about someones hidden agenda… that stuff is hard to resist. The problem is, the person who gives you the inside scoop on other people is also giving other people the inside scoop on you. 4. BACKSTABBERS The people closest to you should have your back, like you have theirs. Backstabbers have no ones back but their own. Self-interest is good… enlightened self-interest is better… but self-centered sucks to be around. So dont be a Galileo and try to change their minds. Just move on. Self-centered people wont even notice youre gone. 5. ROADBLOCK PROPHETS Granted, none of us want to make a mistake we could have avoided. But when someone always counters every idea with an endless list of reasons why it just wont work, then he or she needs to go – unreasonable doubt is the enemy of achievement. If my idea truly wont work, I definitely want to know. Tell me, tell me why, and tell me what might work instead. Then youre helping. Then we can go places together. 6. SCHOOMOZERS Building connections is important. But networking isnt a numbers game. Connections arent an end; connections are just a beginning. Be nice, but otherwise keep the schmoozer at arms length. He cares just about making connections. He doesnt actually want to connect. 7. MAINTENANCE SCHEDULERS What doesnt make sense is when you need to service some personal and professional relationships or they fall apart. Some people need regular check-ins. They need regular contact so they can feel reassured that you still care. When they dont get serviced, they make you feel youve somehow let them down. In short, theyre needy. The people you truly want close to you are there when you really need them -- just like you are for them. 8. The WALKING DEAD Some people drift like zombies. They wander aimlessly from task to task, from day to day and year to year, with no plan, no purpose, no goal. Surround yourself with people who have ambitious plans, meaningful purposes, and big goals. Even if their goals are different from yours -- and they probably will be -- youll feed off their energy and theyll feed off yours. Stay away from the walking dead. The walking dead wont kill you, but theyll definitely kill your motivation and enthusiasm. ENJOY READING!!!
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:36:27 +0000
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