People tell me Im strong, They know that I have suffered a disastrous surgery, that resulted in a collapsed lung and paralysis of the vocal chords. Trying to speak comes with a great deal of pain. I live with two elderly people whom cant hear me or take care of themselves.There are no reinforcements or relief. We have lost my dear Brother and two precious dogs. Then we have lost dear ones who just couldnt deal with our struggle by choice. What they dont know is that I cant cry,My natural cleansing mechanism is broken due to my injury.The pain of tears means that my throat closes and I cant breathe.It is like Im being crushed. So if you see someone that you think is doing well and sucking it all up, Just know.You see what they allow you to see. You never see the sleepless nights, the fears, the pain and the weight that they carry.You never see them when they are crumbling. Because they are protecting you from the gory details of the reality. My heart goes out to the caretakers that dont get a break.One day is just like the next, there are no Holidays, Birthdays or Christmases. It is one day followed by another. I salute those who have no control of their own existence. They live their life so someone else can live theirs.Merry Christmas to those who pay a price.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 00:11:36 +0000
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