Picking up and Starting Over “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” – Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize nominated poet, author, historian, actress, playwright, political activist (born 1928) Feeling disappointed or slightly depressed over not being able to achieve a goal in recovery? This isn’t all that uncommon an occurrence. Truth be told, most of us in recovery are bound to encounter these emotions at one time or another. While being temporarily disappointed is common, however, that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. What we want to know is what we can do about it, how we can get past feeling down in the dumps about not succeeding in what we attempt. Most of all, we want to know how to keep it from happening again. Take heart. There are some good suggestions that we can use. At least, we can try them out and see if they work. If not, adapt and be creative. We’re sure to come up with something workable that will help us in picking up and starting over. • Recognize that the end of one thing means the beginning of another. It may very well be that we are closing the chapter on one part of our lives and moving into something altogether new. We’ve already experienced this when we completed rehab and began our recovery journey. That was likely pretty scary, resulting in our having all sorts of doubts about our prospects for success. It has turned out fairly well so far, so we should be hopeful that this signals further progress on our horizon. • Nothing lasts forever. What we mean by this is that we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over a short-term loss or failure to achieve. In the long run and with concerted effort and determination, we’ll be able to be successful at goals that we deem worthwhile – and are willing to work toward. • Learn from what didn’t go well just as much as we learn from what we’ve done right. Why is this important? For one thing, we need to know when something doesn’t sit well with us, taking cues from our instincts as well as history. If we keep hitting our head against the wall and expect a different result, we’re likely to be disappointed. It’s far better to see that obstacle directly in our path and, instead of running smack into it, make plans in advance how to avoid it, go around it, or even to take an entirely different approach. • Play to our strengths. Each of us is good at something. It’s up to us to make use of our talents and abilities. In other words, we owe it to ourselves and our recovery to make full use of our strengths. Worried that we don’t have anything worthwhile? Many in early recovery struggle with low self-esteem and seriously damaged self-confidence. Know that it will take time to discover just what our strengths are – and we do have them. Hint: If we find success in attaining a simple goal, analyze what it was about our effort that made it achievable. That’s a sign that we have some kind of ability in that area. It may be that we are doggedly tenacious, always a good thing when we’re working hard to achieve a goal. We may be able to see the big picture, another plus when it comes to analyzing complex problems or complicated issues. • Keep a positive outlook. While we may not be able to see exactly how a given situation will turn out, given our inability to see the future, we can help make the outcome more likely to succeed by adopting a positive outlook. If we see ourselves achieving our goal, visualize ourselves completing the project or task, we are much more likely to find ways to make that dream a reality. • What we do today matters. Above all, recognize that no moment is inconsequential. Every minute we live is another opportunity to make progress toward our goals, to create new ones, to discard those that are no longer desirable or appropriate. We cannot undo the past, so obsessing over past failures and setbacks is pointless. Ditto worrying about the future and what it may bring. All we have is now, so make sure that what we do with our time is what we really intend to do. And give it all we’ve got.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Aug 2013 23:18:48 +0000
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