Pills. Prescribed on the advice of your doctor. I personally have always been wary of them. Want to always be me in all scenarios and situations, which included Robbies funeral. I have never want to be reliant upon medication to just function, however I have to admit, in relation to suppressing my PTSD symptoms, they have helped - greatly. So much so, I have my first meeting tomorrow with work to discuss my phased return. And, just like the fictional character Simba in The Lion King, after a traumatic life event, I have had to take time out hakuna matata style to preserve what is left of me. To lick my deep wounds, learn who I can truly rely on and accept both my emotional and physical scars and my new self. During this time, I have realised I have so much to live for, but have also suffered loss in its greatest form, so I know what rock bottom really feels like. Its not pretty here if you should ever go. It is a barren, cold, isolating and very, very frightening place that you feel you have no escape from. No departure lounge or flight home exists: Just a pair of uncomfortable shoes to put on and walk back to life, forever in pain. To lose your child just isnt the way life should be. I have learned that the power of grief and my emotional responses to everyday situations are not the norm. I have suffered great loss before, so unfortunately know what I am talking about. Everyday events can trigger horrific flashbacks for me, too traumatic for me still to this day, to verbally put into words. I no longer cry at soppy movies etc. Not because Im devoid of emotion, just emotionally void. However, tomorrow is the first uncomfortable steps back to life, back to reality, for me. Wish me luck x
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 22:49:34 +0000
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