Please Keep Your “Grubby Paws Off Of My Sewing Machine”! Please forgive me, because I am in a “vile” mood. I feared that some day this would happen and today it did. It all began as a “simple” redo of a seam on one of my wife’s pants. I waited until I was “home alone” to partake of the task, because in the past as soon as the sewing machine is started “all sort of “mending” crawls out of the woodwork”. I removed the cover of my Viking, after saying a few “sacred” words in silence and then went into VSMVS. VSMVS is translated as “Viking Sewing Machine Violation Syndrome. I saw the violation immediately as the cover was being removed. There was black thread on the supply pin and black thread in the bobbin. I screamed, “you have been violated”, “you were touched by some others grubby hands”. I knew because the last time that I used the machine, I used red thread. As I stood there with tears in my eyes and in fear of opening my “sewing cabinet” and finding more, I got a strong drink of Vodka and prune juice. With trembling hands, I first rolled the sewing cabinet out from under the table that the machine sits on and opened it. Some one had used my “Cutco Dress Makers Shears” and my “Pinking Shears” because they were all in the wrong place. I did the mending and placed all of the components of my “sewing section” back into its proper places. I thought “I will make that set of Porsche 911 seat covers with the “ballistic backs” for my truck, very soon. So in the interim, I installed a video camera in the ceiling above the sewing machine and fed the input into a digital recorder that only I can access from the inter net. Remember, “Never mess with a man’s sewing machine” if so you just might “suffer his wrath”!
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 02:08:59 +0000
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