Please advise this reader: Does it ever end??? Divorced a year now, having serious visitation issues! They are supposed to visit one weekend a month in state where we live(we live about 7 hrs apart) every other holiday and 4 weeks in the summer at their place. They came down for his elementary school graduation for a night and brought him back to their place for 10 days of their summer vacation time and one other monthly visit. Every other visit was extended visits where we meet somewhere in the middle for the exchange. But blew off all the monthly visits in between, just lame excuses, mostly blaming me for their finances. They were supposed to have him for Christmas last year, but I let them take him for Thanksgiving because they were having a church wedding, and his family was coming, so I was nice and switched, even offered him more time at Christmas(I was being nice) but they cancelled that one last minute. Fast forward to this year, they havent seen him since a quick half hour visit on our way through their state in August. I asked what they wanted to do for the holidays this year, of course they thought they were entitled to both because they missed all but 2 of their visits(their fault not mine) So we decided they would have him on Thanksgiving and a shorter visit for Christmas(again being nice). So I get a text yesterday, can we meet earlier they cant afford to make 2 trips and one of them has an appointment near our drop off spot the day before. OK its been a long time so missing half a day of school no biggie they were going to have game day anyways. I reschedule my sons doctor appointment..... Then I text her back ok meet you Tuesday evening problem solved.... Not good enough she doesnt want to wait around for hours she wants me to meet her at 2.... OK my son doesnt get out of school until after 2:30 and its about a 3 hour drive. I told her the earliest we could make it was about 4:30 if I pull him out of his last class for the day which happens to be music, no make up assignments nothing to stress over........ Not good enough, they cancelled the visit, because I wouldnt let him skip school, is what they told him. My son is in a gifted program, has a rigorous schedule, and has to make everything up, he also has some learning difficulties and ADD which makes missing classes so very stressful for him. My son is very bright and even told me mom I cant miss math, if I miss a day it will take a week or more to get back on track. I know my son isnt mad at me, and knows its not my fault, he knows who takes care of him in every way that matters, but hes just so crushed, again! But Im here picking up the pieces, and trying to come up with some fun things to do last minute for the weekend. I had it written into the divorce agreement that visit are to be scheduled a month in advance for this very reason. I would love for my son to have an involved father, but his dad is one of those good time dads, role in do the fun stuff, throw around some cash, no parenting, no real father son relationship, more like an uncle than a father. How flexible do I really need to be here. Should I have taken him out of school for a day and a half? I know my son want to see his dad, but doesnt his dad need to be a dad and reinforce how important school is? I hate seeing my son in tears because his dad cancels another visit, and sends a gift card instead. Sorry I cant see you go to game stop and buy a video game! I want some honest opinions here am I just being unreasonable here? HAPPY HOLIDAYS???!!!???
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 05:25:16 +0000
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