Please consider following VijayUncle....... The man will set you straight..... Thanks विजय मोनी for the intro..................... Why a Desi Woman in mid 30s is single, in spite of efforts? (Still in the closet does not count) She is too qualified Never in the human history, the women have achieved so much in every possible aspect of life. This is not a negative in itself but this does cause imbalance when it comes to a culture where husband traditionally was more educated and had higher earning capacity. This narrows the potential candidate pool. It is time where woman can embrace men with lesser financial or educational credentials. She is too qualified and she knows it! From the early childhood she had been told how wonderful and talented she is. Arrogance has left many highly talented ivy leaguers who are making a futile search for tier one candidates. She wasted her twenties This probably is the most important reason. Twenties would have been an easier time to find suitable man and settle down but she was too busy building career and becoming financially independent and finishing her pre marriage bucket list while enjoying freedom. She had no trouble finding a date so she presumed that when time comes it would not be hard to find the guy who would commit. She has too many deal breakers The Deal breakers can be too many but with each one you are wiping out a segment potential candidates. Choose people of Indian origin and wipe out 98% of man, choose Gujarati only and wipe out 75-80 of Indian men. Choose Jainism and wipe out 95% of Indian male, etc., While there is nothing wrong with Deal Breakers, but adding deal breakers of her parents and friends on top of hers may be tipping the balance against her. Date Mode to Marriage Mode How do you switch from ‘dating phase’ to ‘marriage phase?’ Very few Desi women have trouble finding a ‘date’ they wanted. However, the situation changes when she is looking for a ‘husband’ and not a ‘date.’ She is too comfortable! She has a life! She values her independence, She may have a “friend with benefit” Simply her life is not very uncomfortable. Marriage requires many compromises and adjustments. Transition can be painful. So, if it was not for her strong desire to start family, many of them may choose to stay comfortable. She is too cynical From early on, a man became the focus of her emotional life only to end in pain. This cycle might have repeated nearly every two years. This, along with the painful stories of other women makes her supersensitive. Window Shoppers or Non-shoppers & Barbaadi She wasted too much time with window shoppers / non shoppers on Barbaadi. Internet is a wonderful resource and it opens up global market. Going on barbaadi gives you an impression that you have hundreds of choices. However, after negotiating it for year or two she realizes that there is no way to figure out that the guy she was talking was seriously looking or just window shopping or time pass. Demand & Supply There is no major shift on male and female birthrate that I know of. However, by and large lesser percentage of men in late 30’s are in a hurry to tie the knot. For a man to find a woman several years younger is lot more likely than the other way around. So women find themselves in competition with younger women. 20’s was a time for serious thinking The difficulty of finding a suitable man in 30’s is not some isolated phenomenon. Still vast majority of Desi women (and their families) are in a wishful thinking mode. It may happen to others but not us. She has nearly given up Having spent many years of sincere efforts many of them are so disheartened that they have given up. When new opportunity arises there inner dialogue is so negative that they may be sabotaging their own success. Desi community has failed her Last but not the least, the Desi Community with various organizations have not addressed this issue as to how important this is to future and what can be done about it. Out national conventions does provide lip service to the challenge by some speed dating or some youth oriented event. This was inspired by
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 21:56:21 +0000
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