Please, don’t be sorry. Over the weekend we went to a family wedding with all 3 boys. Anyone with children, who has sensory issues or difficulties handling new things or situations, would know how challenging a whole day out at a party or, as in our case, a wedding can be. But I must say that I am extremely proud and pleasantly surprised how well all 3 boys handled the day. They were absolute angles and I am so proud of how far they have come and how much they can actually tolerate now. As the wedding were progressing into the night I had a chat with a few people. Many not even realizing our boys were autistic, which was a huge pad on the shoulder and probably the biggest compliment we can get. Many of the guests had a chat with the boys and they couldn’t pick it their abnormalities. LOVE IT!!!! That is where we are heading and where we want to go. We want our boys to mix in and been seen as “normal” as possible. No one want their child to stand out and be the odd one out. Not while they are little. Well, at least we don’t. I ended up chatting to one very lovely person, who were very surprised to hear that all 3 boys were diagnosed. He was in fact so surprised that he said “I am SO sorry” in which I quickly replied “Please, don’t be sorry. They are totally awesome kids. There is nothing to be sorry about”. I could tell he was very uncomfortable having said he was sorry, but the poor guy had no idea of how to respond to the news. I have found that MANY people do exactly the same thing and respond with the same expression as he did. If I were in their shoes I would probably do the same thing. But there is absolutely no need to say that you are sorry. My children are doing extremely well and they are happy and most of the time well settled children with a bright future. I have no need for people feeling sorry for them, my family or myself. Sorry is something you say to someone, who has just lost a love one, who has been diagnosed with a terrible life threating disease or if you have hurt someone’s feelings in one way or another. But there is absolutely no need to feel sorry for us. I think there is a bit of misconception to the whole thing. I think a lot of people respond in that way because they honestly think that having a child with autism must be a tough pill to swallow or a devastating thing in your life. But I can honestly say IT IS NOT!!!!!! Yes, it is very hard work! Yes, it cause a lot of stress and many concerns! Yes, I haven’t slept probably in 7 years! BUT my children have not been diagnosed with a life threating condition and they are not dying. Please save the “I am sorry” for the family, who has to say goodbye to their child, who has just passed away from leukaemia or the woman who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Please don’t say sorry, because my children have autism. They are amazing kids that will go far in life and THAT is absolutely nothing to be sorry about . It is all about perspectives. Please remember that.
Posted on: Mon, 09 Sep 2013 03:22:48 +0000
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