Please keep me anonymous. Sometimes when you need to make a decision but yet youre unsure to what decision to make so that itll make you happy, youll take desperate measures. And thats why Im here to ask for advice from my Hmong community. When you get stuck into choosing the path of marriage and living the way you want to live, which path will you choose? There is only two paths that you can take. Three actually but the third one is too depressing to even mention. One path; no one will agree upon because you will become a divorced woman and will be looked down upon. But you will be happy to whatever and wherever life will take you. Then other is continue life as it is to make everyone happy and satisfied even though it means you live in total darkness. Why I ask such a question is because after being married for so long I came into realization that I am stuck on my track. And now if I keep proceeding without making a decision on my future then Ill far further behind. Not only that but I will drag along other people, like my husband. Just so everyone is clear this isnt about either one of us having an affair or another Hmong abuse stories. Anywho, Im not getting any younger and neither is he. Throughout our marriage together he has never done me wrong but he is a bit on the controlling side and I guess I am a bit to be blamed for. I want so much more to life than what life is currently offering. Im an explorer. He is Home Sweet Home kind of guy. I love to take risks and have my space. He on the other hand loves every moment with me, which is fine but I need space to breath at times because too much of that I feel like Im suffocating. And he doesnt like taking risks. Im not talking about money wise but when it comes to doing outdoor activities. Which brings it to, if he doesnt do it then I as his wife will also not participate. I understand that opposites attract but being way too different bothers me. And I havent even mention about our constant arguments about nothing but just mere misunderstanding of one another. I know that if you dont argue then there is nothing interesting about your relationship but arguing too much is unhealthy too. I have brought up our differences to him but seems like every time I do he ignores everything and make me seem like a total dumb a**. And then we argue about it. Honestly its because he thinks were completely fine and I beg to differ. He wont go to couple therapy. He doesnt want to know how I feel. Yet this happens a lot to us Hmong women but it does happen to Hmong men, too. And now Im at a point of life where I want to do things, go places, have my own house, live with just my family and he just wants to stick with his parents. I dont have anything against them but they have done things that I dont know if I can ever forget but I have forgiven them. Well enough said... Please give me some advice on whether what I am thinking is completely insane or its just because I am seeking for happiness in my life.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 00:06:18 +0000