Pocket review of THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF FIVE ARMIES. #1: Most of this movie was actually rather dull. #2: Apparently, we have Worm-sign in Middle-earth, worm-sign the likes of which Eru has never seen. #3: Elves may not age, but Orlando Bloom does. #4: Evangeline Lilys Tauriel is the best thing in this movie that isnt Tolkien, and by that I mean about 98% of this movie. #5: They kept one of Bilbos best lines (his final farewell to the dwarves, which has gone down in etymological history), but left out the dwarven half of the exchange, which loses the whole point. #6: They also cut his funniest line in the entire book, which is, of course, Thag you veddy buch. Because Bilbo has a cold for the entire last third of the novel, which could have been much funnier than the lame attempts at humor which the screenwriters decided to add instead. #7: Yes, the dialog scripters are still awful, as they have been throughout pretty much the entire 6-movie saga, whenever they tried to invent new lines which sound like Tolkien. Jackson cannot bid farewell to Middle-earth fast enough for me. He did some really great work in Middle-earth, but this movie is not privy to it. It was a two and a half hour video game punctuated by a couple of really great actors putting forth a sincere effort to bring some humanity to the thing.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 04:11:05 +0000
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