Polices new rules of engagement Victim: Officer, officer! That man just stole my purse! Officer: Good morning mam, or does that pronoun offend you. If so, please advise me of the correct pronoun I may use in order to not.... Victim: Officer, youre not listening to me! That man stole my purse. Officer: That gentleman across the street? Victim: Yeah, thats him. Officer: Okay, let me go talk to him. Victim: Hes a big guy, dont you want some help? Officer: Oh no, anything that might give the appearance of a show of force isnt allowed. Officer leaves to talk to the alleged suspect and then returns: Officer: Is it a red purse with black trim and brass colored clasp with the initials MS on the side? Victim: Thats it, my name is Mary Smith and those are my initials. Thats my purse. Officer: I figured it was yours, he doesnt look like the purse type. The problem is he doesnt want to give it back. Victim: Well, arrest him, he robbed me of that purse. He punched me, knocked me down and then took my purse. Look at this bruise on my arm, and Im bleeding from my forehead. Officer: Im afraid I cant do that. He said he wouldnt allow me to arrest him. I can call the EMS folks though to treat you for your injuries. There will be a fee of course. Victim: What??!! You have to arrest him. He committed a robbery and Im the victim. I demand you arrest him. Officer: Im afraid I cant do that. He said he would fight if I tried to arrest him and our new Rules Of Engagement dont allow us to confront a hostile suspect. Victim: Rules Of Engagement? What the hell is that? Officer: Basically it means if the alleged suspect offers any resistance, or even says he will resist, our Rules Of Engagement say we shall not engage. Its really quite simple and it makes our job much simpler. No more fights, no violence involved and everyone is much safer that way arent they? Victim: But he robbed me and hes standing right there, you mean you cant do anything? Officer: Oh, whether or not I could do something doesnt matter. Im not allowed to confront a possibly hostile suspect. Perhaps you could talk to him and see if he will come down to the precinct house and turn himself in. Victim: Thats it? Thats all you can do? Officer: Well, I can give you our website and you can make a report of this alleged crime. Its a really neat website, designed by the same folks that did that Affordable Care site And Id be glad to give you the office phone numbers for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Eric Holder. Victim: Will they do anything? Officer: Not really, theyre only interested if I do something. Victim: Well did you at least get his name so I know who the bad guy is when I make this report? Officer: No, he didnt want to give me his name, and gosh all I can do is ask. Victim: This is incredible. Hes just standing over there like he knows nothing will be done about this. Officer: I know. Happens all the time now. Well, have a nice day and call any time, were here to help. Victim: But officer. Officer: Youll have to excuse me, I have to go apologize to that gentlemen for disrupting his day.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 06:47:00 +0000
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