Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger AND bitterness in old age. –Jimmy Fallon Last Friday CNN had its worst 10 p.m. ratings of all time, with only 35,000 viewers tuning in. I left it on for my dog, and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper. –Jimmy Fallon President Obama is in Poland. Hes not doing anything official. He just wants to go before Putin invades. Poland shares a border with Ukraine, which shares a border with Russia. Its kind of like living two doors down from Alec Baldwin. Eventually youre getting attacked, right? –Craig Ferguson Marijuana dispensaries in San Jose, California, will give out free weed to people who vote in tomorrows municipal election. Which should backfire when the winner of the election is Pizza. –Jimmy Fallon
Posted on: Fri, 06 Jun 2014 13:42:02 +0000
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