Portrait of a “Serial Dumper” A “Serial Dumper” is the kind of person who reacts to a deep fear of dependency by “dumping” more or less satisfactory relationships. According to Psychiatrist Martin Kantor, a type of person that we might experience simply as a “Serial Dumper” (SD) is technically a “Type IIB Counter-Phobic Avoidant.” (The Serial Dumper moniker is my attempt at some sort of colloquial expression for the benefit of persons afflicted or affected by this form of suffering) NOTE: This summary is dedicated to my friends “across the pond,” (especially Amanda M Tietäväinen) who may find useful insight here, given interest and research in complex PTSD (and dysregulated HPA axis), corresponding with vulnerability to relationships with narcissistic and narcissistic-borderline disorders. The summary below derives from Kantor’s work in “The Essential Guide to Overcoming Avoidant Personality Disorder,” Praeger, Santa Barbara, 2010, especially p. 29 et seq (an excellent work, in my humble opinion). Please refer to Kantor for direct reference and further clarity. CONTINUING... As Kantor describes, the Serial Dumper relates well in the beginning of relationships, yet before too long they are planning their escape. This may be because, as Kantor notes, Serial Dumpers are typically narcissists who leave after using people up. They precipitously reject an innocent and unprepared victim, spurting out something like, “I just want to be my own person,” “I want some down time to think,” “I need a break,” “I want to be free,” “I met someone new and fell in love,” or saying nothing, just disappear forever out of a formerly significant other’s life—even if or just because the relationship may be working. They leave their victims feeling mystified and hurt, thinking, “I didn’t do anything to deserve this.” When they go, SDs typically cite their partners’ defects exclusively, while whitewashing their own limitations entirely. And yet, they often dump others precisely when they seem to want something from them in return. Often, SDs actively provoke their partners so they can have the excuse they need to abandon them, perhaps by relentlessly harping on their partner until he or she takes the first step by moving out. This way, they can look more like the victim than the victimizer.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 03:14:06 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015