Pretty much sums it up! Dear jerk(s) who broke into my car last night/this morning:You suck.I mean you really suck.Not only do you suck because you tried to steal from me, you suck because you couldnt even find a car to break into that actually had something in it worth stealing.In your face, jerkwad.As my dad would say, you are a punk-faced scumbag.Stay out of my car.I mean, duh, I know what kind of neighborhood I live in. Im the freaking crime reporter for crying out loud (although I doubt you knew that when you were busy rifling through my glove compartment). I know what goes on in/around the area where I live. Why do you think my doors were unlocked, genius? Cause I knew that, at some point, some doofus would think they could find some goodies in my car that they considered up for grabs.Id rather give you easy access to my car -- which, as youve seen, has nothing awesome in it, unless you are an avid collector (aka huge nerd or someone out to thwart my career) of pens and notebooks -- than have you smash my window(s).Dont get any ideas, you weasel.I guess I should thank you for not stealing what lame stuff I do keep in my car -- pens, a notebook, a tire pressure gauge, a charger for my GPS, an auxiliary cord for my iPhone, some Febreeze, generic brand glass cleaner, and a brand spankin new air freshener that I paid a whopping $1.99 for at Target the other day.After observing the contents you probably thought the car belonged to some 80-year-old woman with a lot of cats. Howd that make you feel?I mean, Ive never broken into someones car before, but I have just a couple suggestions, I guess, should you decide to continue being a jerk:Next time could you not throw my trash on the garage floor? I mean, I appreciate you cleaning it out a bit and all, but thats just rude and, frankly, pretty lazy on your part. The trash cans are only a few feet away for crying out loud. Plus, I really look down on littering. If youre going to try to steal from me, I wish youd at least respect that.Also, if you wouldnt mind, would you close the door all the way next time?
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 21:53:46 +0000
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