Pride, Ive discovered is no longer hanging on to. I used to think - TopicsExpress

Pride, Ive discovered is no longer hanging on to. I used to think it was so important - no longer. Oh, Im still a mentally young 66 years old, but I wish my body knew it. Wake up and take 21 pills every morning. Carry a vial of additional pills should an emergency come up. Outside I use a walker. In my house, its one or two canes. Wherever I go theres a hum in the air from my Oxygen Concentrators that have plastic tubing snaking across the floor and running up into my nostrils. The hand tha doesnt hold the cane holds a nebulizer or a album rol puffer. Over the course if this illness Ive lost over 100 pounds. Pain is constant, so I dont move much causing me to either sit in one place or lie down in one place, generating weeping and bleeding bedsores. Ive havent reached the climax yet (in fact I dont climax at all) but Ive learned a new skill. I now take care of the buttock wounds by myself. Cant go commando, but have resigned myself to a pamper like shorts with home manufacturer ed gauze pads Ive got to make myself and wear to absorb the blood flow. Diapers at 66, no because of incontinence,but because I want to keep my pants from rotting. So its pampers with 4 layers of 8 x 10 gauze pads inserted in between the skin and the outside pm of the diaper. Youll find me watching TV and taping these things together ! Take a short walk with me and watch me cough pant and vomit. And I mean short walk - like 40 to 50 feet. I used to have charisman. It disappeared. I was a culinary master - thats gone too. What I am proud of is what the well dressed terminally Ill male should wear. The farts are LOUD & UNEXPECTED, so you need a sense of humor and nose spray to hang ou if you like staying up talking, um you guym i rarely sleep but i do have my riutine. Pride s no longer the issue. Staying alive is. My heros are dying and i miss them terrubly; but have no strength to attend their memorials.. Im glad I made friends with toungsters, because my contemporaries are leaving quickly. Nightie requires 10 more pills and a prayer the my bowels move regularly . How are things in your town. From here its looking like cremation is my last Chance for that smoking hot body ! Be proud of my histiry, nit the way I appear these days. But theres not a lot of them left anyway !

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