Prophet E. makandiwa Youth Conference : Premarital Investigations Genesis 2:18 These are investigations\counselling that you need to do before you get married. You need to do these Investigations now before getting into marriage. If you find negative results, quitting is not the only option. If you find out, you will be able to help. It is not a fault finding exercise. It is biblical to investigate someone. God allows spirits to be investigated or tested. Investigations are necessary. Relationships are designed by God to exist within their time. Some are meant for a few days, some longer. There are certain relationships that have a time.****Relationships should not outlive their time****.Do not try to revive every relationship that you see.****It is better for some relationships to die so that you survive****. There are other relationships that are demonic hence you have to walk away from certain relationships .There are certain relationships that should be there even for a life time. You cannot just start by investigating an individual .The first point to start an investigation is: When he proposes not when she proposes… You are a free person even if you say YES but you can always say NO. If you love the person, you pray about it and you accept. Your yes is for a certain time where there is need for a proof that one is a marriage material. It is important that you get time to think about it .Consider the following: Is this the time to enter into the relationship Someone loving you now may not mean that you are supposed to be in love at the moment. Is this the time that you will have somebody who will marry you Those relationships that you entertain before their time may cause problems in other relationships e.g school. If there is something that you are pursuing go for it. Learn to say no if you are not ready or pursuing something. There is more to life than just marriage. Some people are good as long as they are your brothers or sisters. Open your eyes and begin to see. Do necessary investigations. Take your time. It is better not to have one than to have the wrong one. If you find something wrong in him/her, see whether you have enough strength to help. Marriage is as good as going to the moon; you need oxygen tanks on your back. How much you carry determines how longer you are going to stay there. There is something that you have to carry when getting into marriage. Get enough knowledge i.e air, food for yourself. Get enough information concerning marriage, certain behaviours , taking what is necessary you need to carry. Look at the style, be wise, be as humble as a dove and be as wise as a serpent. Before you see a message from another boy or girl, you need to sense it, be as wise as a serpent.***If you are not sensitive, you have to be very prayerful. Smell sense of danger. Consider also your relationship with God. The person coming into your life should be able to support you all the way in other relationships as well. The moment you say ‘I love you,’ you then begin to investigate. Don’t rush in trying to find everything, he/she might tell you. If you find out that he/she was married before, look out for the current position of the person, find divorce papers or details. Wake up, as long as Adam is asleep, he will not see Eve who is already there, Adam need to come out of the sleep. Open your eyes. If information is coming from the wrong people, it cannot be correct. There should be people around. The day you approach or you are approached is the day you discredit yourself. Take advantage when the graph is still high on the first day. Do not hide anything or keep certain information to yourself. Expose your previous lives. Say everything to each other, You are now naked to each other just like Adam and Eve were naked i.e transparency. Now you can begin your journey. If you are the first person to say what it was, you are safe. It is not about the truth only, it is also when you said out the past. Be willing to change from your previous life. It should not be too early, having someone at an early stage is like you are possessed, It is about maturity. Introductions If he/she does not want to introduce you, there is something. If he/she is in a hurry to introduce you, there is something. If he/she takes long to introduce you , there is also something. Introductions bring an element of belonging. Consider the following on introductions: When Where-Is it an organized gathering, Is there a place for that How-The way he/she introduces you To whom- There are people that matter in life. You can be introduced to everyone else except to the people that matter in life. Everyone has a circle of people that are important to him/her. Don’t push for him/her to introduce you. Work and become the best for that relationship. On introductions, the moment he/she says this is my girl or boy, look at their faces, their facial expressions kkkkkkk……Introductions are very important, they save and they are to be initiated. They protect as people have to know about it. Investigate how he does it. When invited to his place , go there with a friend. There should be a time of courtship. Don’t go to places where you will be taken advantage of. Before you arrive, tell your friend that you are my board guard. When you are there , look around in his/her restroom or wall for pictures. Find out the number of rooms that are there, Is there somewhere you can sit or it is just a place . Is he/she interested in your interests Does he/she show concern? Understand why he/she likes what he/she likes or the size of his/her shoe. If you were worried about something, he/she should continuously ask you how you are coping until you are fine. Does he/she love what you love, what does he/ she says when talking to you. Investigate his/her availability You don’t need an unavailable person. Is he/she there when you need him/her. Compare his/her availability versus friends or job. Your expectations should not be higher. Consider his/her job and also consider that you are not yet married. Check if he/she is available to you even if he/she is there, see whether he/she does not always stay on his/ her phone when you are together. Is it proper that he/she should be answering calls and again is it proper that he should be ignoring calls when you are together. You can still spend your time talking to someone who is not available. Look at how happier he/she is when with you than when with his/her friends. Look at how he/she greets his/her friends and how they respond. Are you included in his/her future plans. What does he/she say e.g ‘Im going to have my car or my house’ e.t.c. Are you included. Does he/she say he/she loves you from time to time and not lying Is this person really up to you. How many times does he/she tell you that he/she loves you. He/she should not be lazy to tell you how he/she feels about you. He/she should always be ready to complement you.Look at Adam, the moment he woke up he said ‘bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.’….. When you go to honey moon you will be singing love songs and not worship songs, there are good love songs, not every love song is bad,there are songs that are meant to convey feeling and affection but remember also your relationship with God should be exciting. During baba’s free time he said he takes mhamha out to watch movies, not every movie is bad. Does he/she know kugara mu movie kusvika yapera without disturbing you. If you are intelligent, you can tell the character of a person when watching a movie, his/her level of love, revenge e.t.c by how he/she comments. He/she should be commited. Invest into your relationship. Spend more time together. Open your eyes, be wise enough. Haufanire kushaya hanya nezvinhu zvine basa, kuendawo kunoona 3D movie.There are so many ways that you should see if he/she loves you e.g spending time together, giving e.t.c. 7. Can friends change his/her opinions How far can he be influenced by his/her friends. Can friends change the way you see a person you want to marry. Friends should never change the way you see a person you want to marry. 8.Does he/she talk about his/her negativities before being asked Is he/she free enough to you, how open is he/she to you and in some statements where he/she undermines himself/herself. Even if you know something it is good to act as if you don’t know at times. Don’t be too wise but be wise. Udzwawo nyaya yausina kumbonzwa, zvinodiwa kumbotiwo ‘hoo.’ 9 .Look at the depth of his/her advice You can tell that he/she is smarter. Sometimes you are allowed to present a case that does not even exist. Present a general case, look at how he/she is going to help you out of situations. 10. Appreciation/Acceptance How does he/she appreciate others in your presence. Does he/she appreciates others in your presence. If he/she does not do that , it means you are about to be married to a competitor e.g if a friend buys a car, is he/she able to appreciate if he/she is a pedestrian. Can he/she appreciates somebody. Doesn’t he/she question before appreciating. Does he/she appreciates you. If you are married to somebody who is threatened by everyone, you are in trouble eg one who complais every time about weather, situation e.t.c
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 09:08:48 +0000