Proverbs 18:19 - A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city; And contentions are like the bars of a citadel. This scripture is used almost exclusively as a warning and rebuke concerning the offender. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city; so for goodness sake don’t ever offend a brother. This proverb is not addressed to any offender – in fact it doesn’t even suggest there is an offender. It is possible to have a heart of offence when there is no actual offender. This proverb is dealing with that scenario. It tells us why he is offended and what the consequences of that condition of offence are. To understand why this brother is offended we need to look at the definition of the Hebrew word that is translated ‘offended’ in our English Bibles. The core idea of the root is: a breach of relationships between two parties in which there is a casting off of allegiance, and thus rebellion against rulers; it has to do with ‘rejection of authority’. A final note on this Old Testament word: ‘pertaining to being angry or indignant and so holding a grudge, as an extension of the meaning of being in open revolt against authority.’ In the New Testament Greek the meaning of this word ‘offence’ becomes more poignant and aggressive: ‘to rise up in open defiance of authority with the intention to overthrow it or to act in complete opposition to its demands; i.e. to rebel, to revolt.’ And finally: ‘rebellion against authority with a special focus upon verbal opposition.’ The offence of this Proverbs 18 brother has nothing to do with things external to him. It has to do with his heart. And the particular heart- issue that makes this brother always vulnerable to offence is his view of authority and how he relates (or fails to relate) to it. There are people who live in a perpetual state of offence; offended by everything and everybody. They go through life looking for something to be offended about or to take up the offences of others. If you dig deep enough you will discover there is an unhealthy view of authority. The consequences of living in this state of perpetual offence are expressed in these words of the text: ‘And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.’ What a picture: ‘the bars of a citadel.’ This highly offendable brother of Proverbs 18:19 is hidden away in a strong citadel where he is locked up behind bars. The strong citadel or fortress is his own heart and the bars he is locked away behind are the attitudes he allows and protects. Consider the key word – ‘contentions’: to crush by pounding or beating; also a crushing, oppressive weight. To live in this place of offence sets up an attitude of contention within the soul. No matter what is done for this brother he “beats and pounds and crushes” it until the effort is lost and buried beneath the “oppressive weight” of that contentious attitude. And every time he does this he adds one more bar to his citadel, his fortress, his prison. Signs of an offendable heart: How approachable are you? Are you easily entreated? Do people want to be around you? Do you prefer to be alone? Do you tend to see what’s wrong or what’s right in people and situations? Do you tend to be lonely, fearful, angry, protective and defensive? Do you have to have the last word? How teachable are you? Is it easy to direct you? How do you receive counsel and instruction? Do you welcome accountability? How well do you work in a team situation? Is there an edge to your attitude? Are you easy to work with or do people feel like they are walking on egg shells? Even when you agree to do something do you still have to make a point, throw a little jab, a little dig, a little barb – even in the form of humour? Do you feel threatened by constructive criticism? Do you need to be in control? How well do you do with rules? How easy is it for you to trust?
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:40:16 +0000
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