Q: Hi, I apologise in advance for the length of this question- but there is no short way to ask. I desperately need some non-judgmental advice from people who do not know me, an outsiders view or someone who has been in the same situation- I am married with 3 beautiful daughters. Whilst I love my husband, I really think, and have thought for a long time that it is not enough. I might love him but I certainly dont like him- and would not be friends with him if we were not married. At what point do you leave? At times I feel verbally/emotionally abused (NEVER EVER physical- he would never do that I def know), I know that Im not the easiest person to live with- I am very emotional, but I really do try hard to be the best person I can be. He drinks too much, smokes, and does weed. I feel like we have no relationship at all- he works 6 days a week, and i work the 7th. He is not interested in seeing a counselor, he is not willing to give up the weed, and he would not even consider doing Ocsober at my request. He has no interest in better-ing himself, or looking after his health. I have spoken to him before about him moving out for couple weeks as Ive had enough and he just says Im not leaving, this is my house. I feel i am not getting anything from the relationship. At what point do I let it go and think about getting on with my life and being happy with just me and my girls? My biggest worry if I do this is money. My husband does earn a good wage, we are not super well of, but the bills are paid, we have a nice car and are paying of a decent house. If we split, i cant see a way to be able to afford the repayments on the house, I would deal easily with driving an older car, but I cant see a way of splitting up and not having to uproot my girls, change schools and move to dodgy 2 bedroom unit where they have to all share a room. I currently work 2 days a week, while I might be able to manage 3 at the most, I have a chronic illness which means I can not physically manage any more than that as it would incapacitate me completely to even function let alone be a mum to my girls. Given my husbands previous comments- for me to leave him I cant see a way around having somewhere to live and pay the bills.I would make him pay child support etc but dont you have to be separated etc for 6 months or something? Is there any one at all out there who has done this before, has any advice/help?
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 10:00:00 +0000
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