Q: My Wife and Mother Salaam, 1. To whom should a married man give much preference, his mother or wife? 2. How much money are parents entitled to from a son`s income? And how much is the son obliged to spend on his wife if they try to stop him? 3. How does a son deal with a mother who abuses and insults him and his wife (out of jealousy i guess)? All praise be to Allah, and may his peace and blessings be on the last and best prophet and messenger, Muhammad. A man’s mother has more rights on him than his wife. A man came to the Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) and asked him: who is most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: your mother, and the man repeated the question three more times and the Prophet said every time your mother, except for the last time, he said your father. That shouldn’t mean justifying any form of injustice to the wife. It takes wisdom and patience to strike that balance. (May Allah help you) The parents are entitled to take what suffices them within reason from their son’s money. The Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “You and what you possess are the property of your father “. According to the probably right opinion, this also applies to the mother. That is given no harm will ensue from that, i.e. they shouldn’t ask him for his car that he depends on to get to work…etc. The man is required to spend on his wife within reason, considering his income and socioeconomic status. He should look at what people of his socioeconomic status usually spend and disregard those who are extravagant and those who are stingy and take the mean or average of the rest, and that should be what he is asked to spend. You must deal with your mother respectfully and kindly, yet you must shield your wife to the best of your ability from your mother’s abuse and insults. I would recommend for you the following: Seek help from Allah and humbly make a lot of du’a’ for him to assist you on that somewhat difficult task. Try to get your wife to team up with you in this endeavor and show her how appreciated she is when she helps you on being dutiful to your parents. You should adequately and promptly make your wife up for any wrongdoing committed against her. You should gently talk to your mother and have people trusted by her talk to her as well, and try to get her to be more respectful to your wife. If you all live in the same house, I suggest that you move out. Your wife is entitled to having her own home. If your parents are old and need your assistance, then you should live close by, where you can assist them as much as possible. Allah knows best.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 12:24:16 +0000
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