QUAKER BLACK BELT: A very primitive and frightening drive to kill had left me emotionally spent and spiritually damaged. I had few useful resources because I had become aware that the jibber jabber of prayer, scripture reading, and the endless cliché of Christianity was thin. But at this point it all became a sneeze in the hurricane of my experience. I didnt need to tell God anything. If he didnt know, I couldnt do anything about it and my telling of my pain to a God who was supposed to be omniscient and omnipresent was absurd in the midst of all the devastation. I didnt need to approach him as the perfect lord and king on a throne as if I were some groveling courtier in a medieval throne room. There were no words no moving lips, no echoing sanctuaries that could address or hold the explosion of my world at this point. I never shared this story with anybody but Dottie until this writing. It has been too powerful to approach until Id matured enough to confront the utter failure of the teachings of Evangelical, Fundamentalist Christianity . In fact, it challenges the validity of all of Christianity as it has been twisted over the last 2 millennia, skewered by western ideology and cheapened by American culture. In the following poem, I touch on this as the experience of a hospice chaplain. Im referring to administrators and managers in contrast to my clinical experience in the field but the poem comes out of my soul about church talkers, attenders and authoritarians in general. What I experienced was not fluffy, cloud gazing . I t was real, and real dirty. It was what people experience everyday in places where one cannot go with polished fingernails and a quote from the Apostle Paul. How Nice May 8, 2012 A Woman Pours her tears into my hands Begs me to help her die Another clutches my arm to her breast Milking hope from my fingers I cry for them – for me You make decisions in your sunny office Your nails polished –suit pressed Appropriately paid in your last check How nice
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 03:38:29 +0000
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