QUESTION: when u feel jealous is that a sign of feeling in love, Jia Daranata? (Courtesy of Ligaya Adolfo Ang) ANSWER: Jealousy doesn’t prove love. It proves insecurity and fear. Essentially, jealousy is an under covered fear. When we’re jealous we are afraid of being replaced by another person in the heart, mind and life of someone we find important. When we are jealous we’re usually in a state of not trusting our own attraction power, our all-over sense of self worth, our adequacy, our lovability and perhaps our ability to do love unconditionally. Most likely the fear concerns a potential loss of self worth and/or Ego, a non-real love factor. With jealousy often comes possessiveness, suspicion, anger, controlling acts and a lot of other negative and manipulative behaviors. As we develop our healthy self-love we get in touch with our sense of self worth more and more. With this we tend to see ourselves as more lovable and love ‘able’. However, let’s be careful not to confuse jealousy with envy. Jealousy is when we don’t want someone else to have what we want or what we might have. Envy is when we want something like what someone else has. Envy can lead us to achieve improvements, acquire additions, etc. while jealousy usually leads only to trouble. If we are one of those who think that a little jealousy is a good thing the suggestion is be very careful about that. Even small dose of jealousy can grow big and deeply harm our Ego to a point of becoming destructive – to the other person or to the love relationship. The answer therefore is NO. Jealousy does not prove love; it proves insecurity and that can sometimes be quite dangerous and fatal. So, love healthfully and be careful of ‘The Green Eyed Monster, masquerading behind our Ego. AMINA SURYA
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 02:24:17 +0000
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