Question from fellow friend Post Anon please Please advice as to what we can do or handle the situation. Dh and I are a team when it comes to co parenting in our home. Big decisions education medical ect are him and bm. I make dh handle all the crap with crazy but im always by his side to support his decision. In may him and bm went to court because dh wanted to modify visitation and she would not work with him. He HAD 23 hours every two weeks. He changed it to the norm Friday to Sunday and 50/50 in the summer. Our issues grew worse with the new order. Bm refused fathers day weekend said sd sisters were going to their dads and its in sd best intrest to spend that weekend together. Now they live together see each other all the time. Police made her follow the agreement. Fourth of July she refused said the holiday fell on her summer time so sd is hers since the order is time day specific. Holidays always trump scheduled visitation but she continued to refuse. The police again made her comply and told her they will arrest her if it continues. We had three years of this so a lot of police contact. Things go pretty smooth from August to mid September. My daughter was diagnosed terminal mid September and dh contacted bm asks if visitation can be from Saturday to Monday since that is his days off. She said yes. The third visitation bm asked dh if sd can attend her church program that Sunday. Dh said sure of course. The night before dh asked what time and where for we will be happy to take her. Bm tells us that plans have changed they now have a family event can sd go from 8 to 330. Dh told her no for he already made plans since its was Sunday his only full day with sd for Monday she has school. Bm flipped out told him they are going back to the order and we will follow it to the T. Dh reminded her we agreed to the change for my 22 ya old daughter is dying. She said not my problem. So now we have the stress of finding a sitter or me not seeing my daughter. She told him we are following the order no changes. Then Halloween she tried to take time from him for she wanted the day with sd. Dh reminded her its his day. She then asked to have us end early so she can go to a party. He offered to take her to the party that way they still have their visitation. It then was not a party but a family thing for her sister. Dh said no she wanted to follow the order and he only gets 8 days a month with her. He would meet her the normal time for we have plans. Of course bm was angry calling him names telling him he is selfish not thinking about their daughter. Then she doesnt show for exchange she wouldnt answer her phone texts nothing. In fact she was 2 hours late and it was 1030 at night. So my question is are we in the wrong? Are we the high conflict or her? Are we just having the same issues everyone else has? How would you go about this? Would taking her back to court for contempt do anything and could dh possibly get every week on his days off? Any fathers accomplished this when you live in the same community. Please be honest this is hard on our marriage the constant drama with her. I dont have these issues with my ex at all for we always work it out. So I dont understand this constant conflict. Tangled life
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 17:56:29 +0000
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