Question on Premarital relationship: I have recently been engaged, Alhamdulillah and am very happy but lately I have been struggling to find some guidance and I hope that my ummah can help me out. I currently chat with my fiancee via messages and messenger and in regards to this I have the following questions on my mind: 1) Prior to nikah, is it incorrect for me to express any emotions, share any feelings of affection with her? 2) What about talking about our day-to-day lives, personal experiences, etc, is this also not allowed? Answer: Before the marriage, such as during the period of engagement or otherwise, such contact is forbidden and impermissible. It is not allowed for a man to enjoy a non-related women’s company, either by speech, look or private company even you got engaged. When an unrelated man & woman communicate in private, the third person is Shaitaan. Before marriage, Shaitan will make everything about your partner appear attractive & encourage you to communicate freely because he wants you to do haraam but after marriage, he will try his best to pull you both apart...because he does not want you to enjoy whats halaal. Whoever indulges in haraam, will not enjoy it when it is halaal. So, dont fall into Shaitans trap. He is only your open enemy. Allah warns us in the Quran to not even go near zina . Marriage is a beautiful Sunnah ... which shouldnt begin with haraam . If theres anything you need to know about your fiancee, dont contact her directly through unlawful means - rather, contact her wali. When you will got married future but never completely got over each other, than you two will always compare your current life with before marriage. You will always wonder how life would have been if you two were together. You may feel tremendous guilt every time you go home or worse; you may not even feel anything at all which will cause the relationship with your spouse to diminish since you wont be giving your spouse the attention he/she needs. You may even run away from home to be with this person. Trust me when I say that this is not as far-fetched as it may seem. Most important, When getting married the halal way, you always think with your mind to see the other persons characteristics and personality. When you fall in love with someone, your heart does all the thinking. It clouds your judgement and makes you act irrational sometimes. Hence the reason Allah doesnt hold you accountable for the love you feel in your heart but rather, He holds you accountable for what led to that feeling. Meanwhile, strengthen your personal relationship with Allah Taala - study the Quran , offer Tahajjud prayers , read beneficial Islamic literature , listen to Islamic lectures, keep company with pious & learned people, participate in local Islamic activities etc etc...You will feel the barakah of all these noble deeds seeping into your married life, In-shaa-Allaah.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 10:24:51 +0000
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