Quick jokes A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation. B: Yes, of course. A: Great. I never could before. An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home. The teacher says: Today, were going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say I am beautiful, which tense is it? The student says: Obviously its the past tense. Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, I can make the boss give me the day off. The man replies, And how would you do that? The woman says, Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, What are you doing? The woman replies, Im a light bulb. The boss then says, Youve been working so much that youve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off. The man starts to follow her and the boss says, Where are you going? The man says, Im going home, too. I cant work in the dark. Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, Why arent you married? Cant you find a woman who will be a good wife? Fred replied, Actually, Ive found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesnt like them. His friend thinks for a moment and says, Ive got the perfect solution, just find a girl whos just like your mother. A few months later they meet again and his friend says, Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her? With a frown on his face, Fred answers, Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much. The friend said, Then whats the problem? Fred replied, My father doesnt like her. A guy says to his friend, Guess how many coins I have in my pocket. The friend says, If I guess right, will you give me one of them? The first guy says, If you guess right, Ill give you both of them. A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, I have some good news and some bad news. The man says, OK, give me the good news first. The doctor says, The good news is, you have 24 hours to live. The man replies, Oh no! If thats the good news, then whats the bad news? The doctor says, The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday. Student: Would you punish me for something I didn`t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I havent done my homework.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 15:47:35 +0000
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