REAL TALK... “DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION” Folks seems to be having a difficult time staying faithful to their spouse, and keeping their covenant. Were making marriage seem like a joke now. An act of infidelity is certainly not a surprise, and to some even expected. Social norms that have been guided by what entertains us (Love & Hip Hop, Popular music, Real Housewives of Where ever, Maury, Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc...), tells us that fidelity is a relic of the past. It tells us not to even expect it in marriage anymore. Most women believe he is going to cheat and that just comes with “having a man...” Ive even heard that humans arent supposed to be monogamous. Since a lot of people my age have practiced getting divorced for so long by living like married people when were just dating, and then going through a break up thats just as difficult as a divorce, its no wonder why its so easy for us to file the papers in a real marriage, after weve been offended by our spouse. Thats why Judge Mathis is just a miniature “Divorce Court for daters who prematurely comingled their lives “Playing House”. Youve seen it. All of the sudden, God hates divorce for everyone, except you. Your situation is unique and God must not have had that situation in mind when he said Let no man put asunder... It must be a complete shock to God that your husband/wife behaved that way. I can see God scratching His head in amazement now. Since DIVORCE IS NOT A OPTION for believers, before you get married,(and even for those already married) please read the book titled: Love and Respect the Love she needs, the respect he deserves... By Emerson Eggrich. This book changed my life and my marriage. Ponder this: Men NEED (its a must-have like blood or oxygen) RESPECT like women need love. As soon as some ladies gets angry at you, shes says the types of things that are designed to make you feel like less-than a man... Doesnt she??? She can be extremely disrespectful... She doesnt realize the disrespectfulness is the equivalent of you telling her, I dont love you anymore. But the effect is the same. Because men need respect so much, they’ll even accept it and gravitate toward it when it’s NOT real. It’s like a mirage in the dessert. You know it’s not real, but you’re so thirsty, you’ll gulp handfuls of sand like it’s really water. Do you realize that most Hallmark cards only talk about love, which is why men dont get all that excited if they receive one... Women are hardwired to love, we know that... So its nothing special to us if she gives us a card telling us she loves us. But, if she was to give you a card telling you how much she respects you, you would stick it on the dashboard of your car and show all your boys... If your wife came up to you and said, Honey, ya know... There is something that I really respect about you... I really respect the way you (fill in the blank). Whatever it is in the blank, it will get done WELL for the rest of the time you know her... Men. Acknowledging how obstacles within our marriage can seem insurmountable in our own strength, Im finding it increasingly difficult to find men (even in the church) with whom I can receive Godly counsel from regarding marriage. I know so many who are presenting godly husbandman-ship publicly, but arent even relating to their wives on the most basic level. I see men openly and inappropriately enjoying the company of other women in ways that should only be done with your wife. I see men who, for WHATEVER reason, have just plain stopped loving their wives. Theyve stopped letting their wives know that they are lovely, and have what it takes. I see men proclaiming proudly to be the men of their house, (Runn Thangs!) but their love, attention, affection, time, AND finances are going elsewhere. Its odd that from the outside looking in, these men are clueless as to how obvious it is that they are living outside of Gods will. Im not looking for men that are perfect “husbands”, Id just like to see men putting forth the effort regardless of their shortcomings or past failures. Men, if youve found a wife, youve found a good thing. And you are heirs TOGETHER of the graces of God. But if youre breaking your covenant, the bible says that your prayers are hindered. Repair the breech. I dont care how Fairytale your courtship is, Marriage is hard... Very hard. Extremely hard and takes a lot of work and commitment. Pray that you both never fall out of love at the same time... Thats a killer. As my wife always says, Marriage is to make you Holy, not Happy... So when the honeymoon starts to wear off and you start to think, Dang! I couldve stayed single and avoided all this crap..., remember your commitment to God concerning your spouse, and seek support and information (Love & Respect is a good place to start) about how to repair the breech, instead of dign in and riding out a tumultuous existence. I know this email doesnt encompass all of the issues that any one marriage has to deal with, but if Divorce is not an option for you, you will at some point deal with the most difficult of obstacles; working TOGETHER to overcome those obstacles is what helped happy old couples stay married for 40 and 50 years.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 13:04:16 +0000
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