REALITY EPISODES IN PRINT ~ 40: Chapter 28: That’s Not Fair – She’s Not Finished (Part Two) February 5, Sunday. This morning I turned to the Psalms for inspiration. Psalm 90, “A prayer of Moses the man of God”: “Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.” Some time ago I had written beside this verse, “God is my permanent address.” Two verses down: “You turn men back to dust.” Oh yeah, just what I need today! A reminder of God’s curse of death upon mankind. “You sweep men away in the sleep of death.” That’s right, he stole away My Betty! Then Moses says in verse 10: “The length of our days is seventy years – or eighty, if we have the strength.” Betty was 70 – 25,550 days. Seventy plus 200 days, actually, so I guess she got a six and a half month bonus. A bonus of 0.0078%. This was my inspiration for the day? I entered the church foyer and Karen hurried over to invite me to supper tomorrow. I was reminded of a discussion she and I had at the hospital the day before Betty left. I was sitting at the Y in the hallway doing my email and Facebook, where I usually sat at 10:00 in the evening. This was 15 feet from the door to a hospital room in which a 95 year old was dying, Karen’s father-in-law. Each evening I heard his loud laboured breathing. But this day all was quiet, except for the whispers of family members that were gathering in the room. Realizing I was intruding on a private family event, I quickly moved down the hall to the foyer. In a few minutes Karen came to sit down and told me her father-in-law had gone to heaven. We chatted for a minute. When she left I wanted to shout, “That’s not fair!” He was 95 years old. My Betty was only 70. He wanted to go; “My chariot is ready,” he had told folks. Betty’s wasn’t; she wanted to stay. She wasn’t finished with me or her kids or her seven grandkids. And she wanted to teach her daughters how to make bread. Following my morning “inspiration” I did not get much out of the sermon on Nehemiah except that he was a visionary who acted on his vision and got results. During the sermon I went back to my Psalm of inspiration and studied it a bit. Glad I did. Moses: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom….Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our day. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us….May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.” Apparently I have some days left. I already decided to be happy because Betty would want me to be. So make me glad, Lord, for each of the days you still give to me, for I really do want to sing for joy and be glad all of these days. So I intend to number my days, whatever that means, deal with them one by one at a time, I suppose. Then God will give me wisdom. He still has work for my hands? I sure hope so, for every day I want to be meaningful in accomplishing the tasks God sets before me. Maybe I’ll get to 95! I snuck out of the sanctuary during the benediction; I’d had enough inspiration for one day, even Sunday. Irene: I can identify! (Irene’s husband, my brother Virgil, died in a car accident several years ago, just when he was planning his retirement.) Joanne: It is good to see you making progress towards healing – a step at a time. God bless. Dr. Reedyk: Hi Arnold: I have so appreciated your transparency and seeing your Christ like grieving. I have been very inspired. Dan so well put Dr. Reedyk. Arnold, you are such an inspiration to me as well! Louise: “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” ~ Psalm 126:4-6. Ann: Your documented journey of your grieving has touched the many family and friends around you. Your sharing has put into words what many have experienced and what we all will experience sometime. Thank you for your openness. God bless you, we love you and pray for you. On February 9 I talked about soon shutting down the group. Several folks responded with their “story” of how the group had ministered to them. This response came from Louise: Thank you so very much for this blog, Arnold. I have cried with you, our family has gotten to ‘know’ you, we’ve prayed for you. Your blog has been an EXTREME help to me personally as someone from our church was killed in a car accident last fall and his loving wife and kids were left behind. Reading your grief and ‘experiencing’ a bit of it through you has completely helped me in coming to terms with Glen’s death and also helped me to see his wife with a new-found openness thanks to you! You have also really helped me grieve my dad’s passing away when I was 20. I did not grieve properly; I didn’t know how, and the memories and hurt were stuffed away. I now cry most every day, in a healthy way, for a relationship snatched away too early, and have resurrected long put away pictures, and am now openly living with his memory and celebrating his life and working through the sadness. God be praised! I responded to her comments: Thanks so much for sharing this, Louise. I am so glad I was able to do this open journaling; your story alone has made it worthwhile. Serious grief and loneliness (the kind you experience when someone loved will never return) is so complicated, a path we walk probably only once or twice in our lifetime. For each of us it is a unique journey yet we can learn so much from each other. Community is a necessary contribution to surviving this difficult experience. We need to accept and own our strong emotions and sometimes share them with others to allow them to minister to us. And God is Good! Cherie: So great that you are going to keep this going, we have learned so much, and I for one know you better for it. This is such a great group, times that are coming will have their ups and downs so this page will be nice to have cuz we all know the history of it, we will know exactly what you mean when you mention finding an old letter or knick knack that moved you to instant tears. We will see and hear and pray. And most of us have been in that place, so we will be great at cheering you up! Love and peace Arnold! April: Dear Arnold, I can say that your journaling has blessed me so much. I am so thankful when someone can write with transparency and tug at my heart, because it reminds me to be kind every day, even when I don’t feel like it. We never know what battles and sorrows people may be facing each day, and your ability to share it reminds me there are others who face what you speak of. I also know that someday I may have to face my own deep grieving, so I have taken all you have written to heart and I know it will help me some day. Truth be told, I needed it and I am so glad you allowed me to be part of your group. I have wanted to tell you for a while that you could take all this and write a book; you are an amazing writer! In my opinion, I think you should take up a new cause! I know I would buy a book with Arnold listed as the author! Rich blessings I wish you as you continue to discover a new you mixed with the best parts of the old one.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Jan 2014 02:56:04 +0000
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