REALIZATION Today I realized how lucky I really am. I woke up at my usual time but today I had nowhere to be, no work planned. Weird. See, my usual schedule runs seven days a week. Work for me is nonstop. It has to be as I own and run the businesses. Having a day off usually means I’m sick and stuck in bed. Sunday’s job should’ve continued into Monday but the customer wanted a day or two off so…today feeling no headache, no major illness, no flu like symptoms, I realized I could take a healthy day off! No computer, no phone, no TV, no nothing. Just me and a confused dog. Made some coffee, sat on the couch, found a book and realized a few chapters in, I wasn’t into this either. Moved to the window and just watched nothing for awhile. When I realized I never met my mailman, I jumped into my boots, snatched my parka and ran out the door. Shockingly realized no socks, just a tee shirt, sweatpants and an unzipped parka in this winter weather were not a brilliant move. Met the mailman anyway at the mailbox curbside and after a few words from me, realized why he rode in his little white truck instead of coming to the house. He this way doesn’t have to deal with people on his route. Now damn near frostbitten, I take the junk mail and run back inside, pour another cup of coffee and realize how early it still is in the day yet. Oh boy. Found a blanket, hit another couch, coffee in hand, and sat to read Sunday’s paper, comics included. It was while reading the Classified Section I realized something was wrong. I was losing my mind! Decided maybe a nap was in store and that would help. That’s what I did. Woke up when the dog realized where I was and he needed attention, like, someone to open the door and let him out, which I gladly did. Once I let him back in, I glanced at the clock again and again realized, I need to be at work, doing something. It hit me and hit me hard; I am not ready for this kind of lifestyle. Now, in three weeks, the realization of it all will come about as I will have yet another birthday and hit fifty-eight. That made me think and realize because I had nothing else to really “do” today. And more things began to happen as far as realizing. I’m not anywhere near ready to even think about retiring if what I did today is any idea of what retired life is like. If anyone else is starting to realize more and more about one’s self like I did today, it’s time for some reflection. Oh sure, we all realize we have every facet available to do that and have everyone out there to offer help, sometimes whether we want it or not. But the simplest, quickest way to start the whole process is first thing every day when I wake up. The first person I see is me, because my first stop is the bathroom. Right in the mirror. And right there is where I realize I am the only one who can make a difference in my day. So, I ask that person in the mirror: “What are you going to do today to make you a better person and make everyone you come in contact with better too?” With that kind of start to my day, I should and quite often really do accomplish exactly that, become a better person and spread that out. So, where am I going with this? I just realized I didn’t know where I wanted to go really. I do know that we all need to realize it’s never too late to look inside every now and then and reflect, re-examine yourself and pick up the pieces and start over again. My plan, if physically possible, to never retire but I will always keep some realization of reality in my life. Planning for the future is great but, having a backup plan is also good, before you realize your first idea of bliss isn’t going to work out. Cause we all need to realize that reality sucks. So, get used to it. I did today. walt.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:29:02 +0000