RED SKELTONS RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE: PRICELESS For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. RED SKELTONS RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. Somewhere I havent been in a long time! she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! So I bought her an electric chair.. 7. My wife told me the car wasnt running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, In the lake. 8.. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late For the garbage? The driver said, No, jump in! 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didnt know her first name was Always. 12. I havent spoken to my wife in 18 months. I dont like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, Whats on the TV? and I said, Dust! Cant you just hear him say all of these? I love it. Those were the good old days when humor didnt have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, God Bless. =
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:45:45 +0000
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