REFLECTIONS ON THE VISIT BY DONNA HICKS By: Ned (Scott) Frank Manager of Training and Certification University of Colorado - Anschutz Medical Campus October is Conflict Resolution Month in Colorado. It provides an opportunity for our community of Conflict Resolution practitioners and enthusiasts who are spread across the Front Range to gather at events and focus on topics under the umbrella of Conflict Resolution. From the disciplines of conflict management to mediation, to conflict coaching and restorative justice; all are interlaced holding the individual and their self-worth as the cornerstone of each process. This year Colorado had the distinct pleasure of hosting three speaking engagements with Dr. Donna Hicks, the author of book Dignity - Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict. There were three venues, one at the University of Colorado Denver, the second at University of Denver, and the third at Colorado Technical University in Colorado Springs. The topic of her presentations was dignity, and how we as people recognize it in ourselves, and observe it in others as we migrate from one relationship to the other in our daily activities. Dr. Hicks states that, Dignity is the glue that connects us as people, and it is what makes relationships work:, and, It is also our internal barometer of indicating how we feel about ourselves. These are just two core principles that allow us a small window into understanding this key element of our persona. She also stated that this is important to understand dignity from a personal perspective, prior to trying to help others through conflict or crisis. Dr. Hicks expanded on the Ten Elements of Dignity, as well as the Ten Temptations to Violate Dignity (all described in her book). She also defined the difference between dignity and respect. She explains the basics of what William James called the I and the Me, and how the I can bail out the Me when there is a dignity violation. She continued on to explain the physiological aspects of the brain and how dignity emanates from the older centers of our brain, much like the fight or flight responses we have as we relate to the world around us. It was interesting to find out that a violation of ones dignity is similar to a physical injury. Truly, the many aspects of dignity are far reaching and cannot be fully described in a few short paragraphs, and thus I recommend reading her book. I do think that everyone who was able to sit in on her presentations and discussions was able to walk away with a new understanding of the crucial role dignity plays in everyday life. Understanding the basic concepts of dignity provides the root foundation of how we see ourselves and extends our appreciation of others as we communicate and engage in everyday relationships. Dr. Hicks told wonderful stories about Nelson Mandela and his courageous battle to keep his own dignity while imprisoned. This included a short but poignant footnote stating, ...no one has the power to take your dignity away, you alone have the ability to hold on to your dignity and protect it. She pointed out that being in a relationship is truly a spiritual experience, it requires that people open themselves up to be vulnerable, and when they are in conflict that each party has the opportunity to tell about each other their perspective of how the dignity violations have hurt them. This delicate waltz of relationships may take days, but the object is to create an environment of safety where people can candidly work through their problems and work in unison to achieve a goal that benefits both parties. As I close, I am reminded of The Story of Elzéard Bouffier (The Man who Planted Trees), though a fictional romance about planting trees, in short, Elzéard single-handedly planted a forest of trees after the first World War, changing what was a barren land into a healthy thriving forest some years later. Dr. Hicks is on a similar, though real journey, as she is ardently planting the seeds of dignity everywhere she goes. She is encouraging all of us to help the seeds of dignity grow, by asking us to be aware of ourselves. She also asks us to embrace the dignity of others, and treat each other with humility and respect. For those who hold this concept dear to their heart, she has asked that we become a Agent for Dignity at declaredignity and that we encourage others to observe each others dignity, by spreading information through the process of educating others about the concepts of dignity. This new understanding of dignity could change the way we see ourselves as well as others, maybe changing the world as we know it for the better. Wouldnt that be wonderful!
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 10:18:41 +0000
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