REVENGE by Alan Dolit This morning as I was looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror I noticed my nose. And the bump on it. And I got an instant flashback to when I was 14. I am living in The Bronx, NY. There is an after school activities program which meets at a local school yard that Ive been attending for a year or so. The kids who are my age are nice and I am friends with most of them. Several months ago it seems as though there has been a change. A new gang of teens have started coming into the neighborhood and are exerting a demonic influence. I know this sounds dramatic, but never the less, I am aware of a definite change in attitude that has come over every one, For example everyone was friendly and got along. Now it seems that when one or more of this new gang is present there is usually some sort of disruption and this gang of guys start bullying the others in order to get their way. Also they seem to be converting guys who were very decent, to emulate their tough attitude, kinda like cancer cells taking over healthy cells. It seems as though it is no longer cool to be nice and kind. The gang members are quite disruptive and instead of joining in and playing according to the rules they make up their own rules, and expect the rest of us to follow suit. In fact several of them with whom I used to pal around with have become hostile to me because I wouldnt join their gang. One day for example George, a former pal pushed me for no apparent reason. I pushed him back and ac-tually tripped him in the process. Some of the others started circling me but just then the teacher came over and chased them away and told them not to come back. The next day when I was on my way home it was like a gathering storm. The street I was walking down was literally blocked by a bunch of their gang. George is standing in front of me with the gang members behind him. In retrospect it is like a confrontation scene out of High Noon. We are all on stage and everyone is following his respective role or script. I sensed that his gang members had egged him on, as I doubt he would have confronted me on his own otherwise. He said to me, as though he needed to justify to himself what he was about to do. Alan, I didnt appreciate your tripping me yesterday. Im thinking this is funny as he is the one who first started shoving me. Actually I thought he had some sort of prepared speech. And I was waiting for him to finish. Big mistake, from out of the blue he punched me squarely in the nose. I actually heard it crunch, and then it started bleeding profusely. Unfortunately, I hadnt read my part of the script, so I really did not know how I was supposed to respond. So I basically said something like: George, youre pretty brave when you have twenty guys with you. Dont let me catch you alone or well find out just how brave you really are. I then left the scene without anyone doing anything else to me. George lived with his parents in a house which faced the school yard on the opposite side of where the afternoon activities were held. For the next several weeks I had a sort of scheme of catching him alone and getting revenge. I was even visualizing how I was going to take revenge on his face like he did to mine. A sort of nose for a nose thing. Interestingly enough there was always one or more gang members either stationed in front of his house or else physically with him. During this time I never saw him alone. Several amazing things happened during this time. First, even though I would still attend the activities, none of the gang members ever bothered me again. Also before long they stopped coming to the activities and I never saw them again. It was though they had never been there. One day about a month later, I was in the school yard on a weekend when there were no formal activity going on. Ironically no one was there except me. I saw George by himself at the other end but he was not looking and did not notice me. I got to about 30 feet and called him. He turned around and froze. He was literally shaking. He could easily have run home, but he didnt seem able to move. I walked up to him. I could tell he was frightened. He didnt say anything. I sensed that he probably had so much guilt over punching me in the nose, that whatever I did, it would seem justified and he would not even fight back. All of a sudden I had a shift in perception. For the past month I wanted my revenge so much, I could taste it. Then when I saw him there looking so pathetic and vulnerable, the idea of having to pay him back in kind totally vanished. I was seeing George as he was prior to his getting involved in that gang. I thought he might even cry. I really felt sorry for him. And had the thought that he would have lost face with his gang had he not done what he did. I just stood there looking at him for about 10 seconds clenching my fist. And then I shook my head from side to side, smiled and walked away. I had my revenge. It came in the form of forgiveness. I wake up out of my reverie and think I forgave George many years ago. I sure hope he was able to forgive himself. Wherever you are right now George, I sure hope so. While writing about this incident, I thought of Peace Pilgrim. I think she would have approved of my behavior. I did a search about her on the net to refresh my memory. This latter information is taken from the FRIENDS OF PEACE PILGRIM web page: Between 1953 and 1981 Peace Pilgrim walked more than 25,000 miles across the country spreading her message: Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love. Carrying in her tunic pockets her only possessions, she vowed, I shall remain a wanderer until mankind has learned the way of peace, walking until given shelter and fasting until given food. She talked with people on dusty roads and city streets, to church, college, civic groups, on TV and radio, discussing peace within and without. Her pilgrimage covered the entire peace picture: peace among nations, groups, individuals, and the very important inner peace--because that is where peace begins. She believed that world peace--would come when enough people attain inner peace. Her life and work showed that one person with inner peace can make a significant contribution to world peace. Yes, I think she would have understood and approved how I handled the George incident so many years ago.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 22:15:08 +0000
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