ROUND 9 – A1 GRADE MATCH REVIEWS FACE BOOK EDITOR BLAMES WIFE FOR POOR PERFORMACE “Iron Jay” Mark Flavel, resplendent in a pair of green runners that would have made “Fashionista” Hicks blush, has led Carrum Downs to a 3-2 win over Somerville to secure a gold medal playoff game in two weeks time. You don’t have to be Einstein to know that my partner, the table tennis magician, Myles “Ripper” Collins, was responsible for the two wins recorded by Somerville whilst I was given a good old fashioned thrashing by “Iron Jay” and his large bodied partner in crime “The Carrum Downs Colossus” Phil Bolitho. I take solace from the fact that I successfully tipped my own whipping by the Carrum Downs pair but blame my wife for a poor showing in the doubles, which I was confident “Ripper” and I would win. I am desperately searching for a successful pre match preparation as I struggle through the worst season of the “pimple less” phase of my less than satisfactory table tennis career. Having tried devout prayer on match day without success, I decided to trial what I thought, could be a winning tactic. Accordingly, this week’s preparation consisted of doing absolutely nothing and exerting no energy whatsoever on match day, which seemed to be working a treat before my wife categorically refused to carry me to my pre match bath in the afternoon, and in retrospect it was all down hill from there. But back to match play. The green shoed “Iron Jay” took three games off the little master but only because he ear bashed him throughout the match, to the extent that the mild mannered “Ripper” was unable to concentrate. With his brain full off mind-numbing “Flavelisms” he somehow managed to stay focused enough to put “Iron Jay” to the sword in the seventh. With Langwarrin’s “Chainsaw” O’Connor lying under a palm tree somewhere in Fiji, his partner “Boom Boom” Bronsema decided to go out in sympathy and was a “no show” for his match against “The J C Train” Jarryd Cathcart and his partner Peter “Pretty Boy” Du Plooy. The only person happy with this state of affairs was “Pretty Boy” who records two wins against his name by forfeit and now sits above me down the south end of the Leading Player lists in a total travesty of table tennis justice. In the final match of the round, top of the ladder, Frankston overcame some stiff opposition from Mt Martha to record a 3-2 win. Frankston super hero, Sam Palmer “The Frankston Express” took his season record to 17-1 with comfortable 4-1 wins against Mt Martha’s “Fever” O’Meara and “Thrasher” Robinson. However after a rare loss in the doubles to the Frankston pair, followed by a heartbreaking 12-10 loss in the seventh to “Rowdy” Anderson at the hands of “Fever” the match was decided by the final singles rubber between Thrasher and Rowdy. After a titanic struggle that saw Thrasher peel off at least two layers of clothing in the icy conditions, it was the quietly spoken “Rowdy” Anderson that donned his hat to “Sam the Fan” when he held off “Thrasher” to record a 4-2 win. Hit hard and prosper Greig Whitelaw
Posted on: Fri, 21 Jun 2013 06:29:01 +0000