Raised my IQ scores proving to myself what I already knew but now its much more solidified: Intelligence is malleable. So now I post my new motto: There is nothing in this world that cannot be learned. Once I started saying that every chance it fit the situation I grew more confident. I dont think being smart has brought me an abundance of joy but it has gotten me to where Im at and thats plenty. A home, a kid, a promotion, my life goals were always simple following the belief that it was better to want less and be weighed down by less was freedom but my insecurities became the voices of resentment and memory too is malleable. If I dont overcome myself Ill blame the people who raised me and Im better than that, right mom and dad? You never encouraged me to be self-dependent. Always it was to marry a man and live under his roof but you punished me for bad grades and that in its own was encouragement. You made me read in the dark to work on my ten page thesis due in a few hours but that was just because you were tired too, right? I never spoke of my dreams and without communication understanding is not obtained. Im beginning to feel very determined to overcome myself. When I do I know Ill look back happily. No longer will I say there is nothing I care to remember. Always half-smiling saying I made mistakes too as though I was accepting the responsibility of my actions was just crafty words, a disguise pushing it on the me of the past. When I no longer need blame placed at all, thats when Ill be who I want to be.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Nov 2013 06:10:06 +0000
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