***Reader Vent*** NO BASHING!!! I started working at a new company at the beginning of last year, and I got involved with my boss. It started out innocently enough, just flirting. Everyone in the company at the time was under the impression that he was divorced, as he only ever referred to his wife as his ex. We would go out to eat after work, and hed tell me how the babysitter had his kids, so hed have to get back home. Eventually it became physical. Then became what I thought was serious. He was telling me he loved me, talking about our future. Bad mouthing his ex. I eventually found out they werent divorced yet, it wasnt finalized, they were only separated. He introduced me to his kids. Something came up and he had to take off work for medical reasons. It then came to my attention that he was living with his ex again, because he wasnt able to fully care for himself. He admitted to that, but it was temporary blah blah blah. He then made the decision to move in with me. He signed a lease with me. He took his stuff from his house, and moved it into an apartment with me. Id asked to meet his ex multiple times, to make sure she was okay with me being around her children. Because if we would be living together, obviously that would come up. I wanted her to feel comfortable with the situation. He always refused because she didnt want to meet me. In the interim of all this, I notice on his Facebook (he had two separate accounts, one that he was friends with me on, and one that he didnt have the password to, to add me) that his ex was still constantly posting things about him, about her loving him and whatnot. When I brought it up, he said shes crazy and trying to keep up appearances for family. I didnt look much into it, just dropped it. Then there started to be irregularities in his stories. So on and so forth, we move in together and its going as well as could be expected, he was back at work by now and things seemed normal. I knew his ex knew where he was living because she came to pick him up for family whatever, he told me she knew I was there as well, but always wanted me to park somewhere else when she came to get him. One day, he left to go visit his kids and I was getting ready for work when I opened one of his little box things, where I knew he kept his wedding ring, because Id seen it while he was there. The ring was gone. When I got home that night, I looked again and the ring was back, as was he. When I asked him about that, he said he noticed the box had been messed with, and he was testing me. A few days later it was decided he missed his kids too much and would be moving back home. We ended things but continued working together, so continued seeing each other occasionally, only in a physical way really. I started to put the pieces together more and more, and he was just constantly arguing and making up excuses for why he sounded like such a scumbag. At one point he actually told me his mother was in a coma from having a few strokes, and thats why he couldnt do whatever it was I was questioning. I put together a little box of things to try and make him feel better. Come to find out, by doing a little digging, his mother was very much alive and well. Hed told me that his ex had tried to message me on Facebook just to talk, but I never saw a message so I didnt think much of it. He eventually got fired from the company, and about a week later I discovered the other folder on your Facebook messages. Low and behold, theres the message from three months ago that wouldve saved me a bundle of trouble. His ex asking me what my relationship with her husband was, as she read our text messages. Shed tried to text me once, as well, but he intercepted it and made me agree to not respond. So when I saw the message, I wrote her back explaining that I hadnt seen it till now, and was wondering what had happened, as I hadnt heard from him since hed been fired, and I was worried. So she informs me theyve never even spoken of a separation much less a divorce, and I spilled my guts and told her everything including dates and times of when and where we did what, including in their home while their children were asleep. She said when she asked him about it, he denied it. Saying he only even talked to me because I gave him attention. Like what does that even mean? Needless to say, havent heard from either of them since. But what gets me is that, theyre still together. How do you stay with a person, knowing that they were involved enough with someone else to move in with them, leaving you and your children? How do you have such a low sense of self worth, that you act like everything is fine? That chapter of my life is over and done with, but like I said I wanted to vent.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:00:42 +0000
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