Reading city council repeals decision to dissolve water authority By Don Spatz Tuesday September 9, 2014 Councilwomen Donna Reed and Marcia Goodman-Hinnershitz asked members to delay the repeal until thats resolved. However, Council President Francis G. Acosta and Vice President Jeffrey S. Waltman Sr. said theyd given their word to authority members: Reach a deal and well repeal. If were not going to repeal, were penalizing those who were willing to sit down at the table with us, Acosta said. Here are some thoughts of mine about keeping ones word Do you mean what you say? Do you say you will do something and then not do it? I experience this often. Someone says they will call and they dont. Someone says they will follow through on a project and they dont. Someone says they will get something important finished by a particular time and they dont. How do you feel about someone who says they will do something and they dont do it? Before I get into the importance of keeping your word, lets explore some of the reasons for not doing this. If you are a person who doesnt do what you say you will do, what is behind this behavior? Here are two possibilities: When someone asks you to do something, do you say yes to control how they feel about you? Are you afraid of their disappointment? Do you give yourself up by saying yes so they wont get mad, even though you dont really want to do it? Do you say yes, thinking you will do it, but then a part of you that hates to be controlled takes over and you go into resistance? Is it more important to you to not be controlled than to be true to your word? Reasons to Do What You Say You Are Going to Do Integrity For me, doing what I say I will do is a matter of integrity. I wouldnt feel good about myself if I didnt keep my word. My word means something to me -- I do not take it lightly. If your keeping your word doesnt mean much to you, why is that? Trust and Reliability I do not trust people who dont keep their word. If someone lets me down a number of times, then I know they are not reliable. I find that this limits my desire to spend time with them, which is sometimes sad, but I have learned to accept that I cannot trust them to follow through on what they say they are going to do. Friendships and deeply connected relationships thrive on trust. Years ago I had a webmaster who consistently said he would get something done by a certain time and often didnt. Of course, he is no longer my webmaster. While my current webmaster, who I adore, doesnt always get things done right on time, I can feel that it is not due to resistance or a fear of being controlled. He is a man of honor and tries his best to do what he says he will do. His caring and sense of integrity make all the difference to me. Respect I lose respect for people whose word doesnt mean anything to them. I end up feeling manipulated when someone says they are going to do something and then doesnt do it. Of course, I give them leeway at the beginning. There may be a good reason they didnt do what they said they were going to do. But if it happens over and over, I accept that I cant rely on them and my respect for them goes down. If you want to feel respected by others, then you need to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no, and not allow your fear of rejection or your fear of being controlled to get in the way of being a trustworthy person. Self-Worth We cannot feel worthy when we let ourselves down by letting others down. People who renege on their word do not value themselves enough to act with integrity. Is resistance to being controlled really more important than your self-worth? Are you kidding yourself that you can feel inwardly worthy when you dont keep your commitments? Self-worth is the result of treating ourselves and others with caring and respect. Personal Power Personal power is the result of behaving in ways we value. My father He was a man of great personal power, greatly loved by his family and people. I recognized that it was his personal power that gave him the strength to do the right thing rather than compromise his integrity in order to appease everybody. I understood that, in his eyes, his life would not be worth living if he were not true to himself. Thank you Council President Acosta and Council Vice President Waltman ,it was a pleasure!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 11:19:23 +0000
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