: Recently a few good friends called my changes in behavior to my attention. Ive spent the past few days considering how I felt in relation to what they said and Ive decided to share it on facebook. Ive always found peace in writing and feel connected when I post my thoughts. Before my brother died I felt like I was in complete control over every aspect of my life. I even felt like I had a grasp on things that were absolutely out of my hands. I lived with a sense of security that no matter what, everything would simply work out. Nowadays I can barely remember who that person was. I find my moods swinging from happy and free to distant and vacant at the drop of a hat and Im really tired of feeling this way. Im trying desperately to reconnect with the part of me that disappeared; To redirect my thoughts and energy and to remind myself that everything, no matter how shitty, happens for a reason. So much of my outlook and attitude has changed this year and it only very recently dawned on me how much Ive resorted to flight over fight. The sad feelings and the effects theyve had on my life ARE problems. But the first step to resolution is recognizing the issue exists. Im making a promise to myself and the people I love that Im not going to stop fighting until I regain the confidence and direction I took for granted. Im feeling better already. Thank you for your patience and kindness.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 22:25:12 +0000
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