Redneck Engineering Exam I, for one, am sick and tired of hearing about how stupid people are in the South, and I challenge any so-called smart person to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust-out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) 65 Ford Fairlane (B) 69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) 64 Pontiac GTO 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? 5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough-sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed? 6. This one involves mobile homes, used appliances, and is admittedly just too difficult for anyone to figure out how they can all fit on 3.7 acres. So, you got one right. 7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer? Good luck with the exam. Additionally, heres some bonus advice: Next time youre too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place a delivery order. When the driver leaves, just catch a ride with him back home.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 14:50:29 +0000
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