Refer to our discussion on integrity So what is integrity? In my opinion this concept requires a best-effort attempt to at all times be transparent and honest. A person of integrity is, in my mind, someone who is the same person in all situations, from the boardroom meeting, to a funeral, to breakfast with their family. They do not hide their reactions or opinions, they do not manipulate others through deception, and they do not pretend. Very few people I have met fit this strict criteria, because most people I know (including those I would put into the “good person” category) at least omit their view of the truth regularly. Think about yourself during a normal week; how many times do you: • Tell someone you feel “fine” when really you feel otherwise? • Smile and nod in agreement with something you do not agree with? • Compliment someone to make them feel better, rather than because you feel a genuine impulsive desire to compliment them? • Help someone out without asking for anything in return, but secretly make a mental note of the favour because they now “owe you one”? • Allow someone to inconvenience you, frustrate you, or get in your way, just to avoid conflict? Hey, we all do these things, so don’t beat yourself up! You may consider dishonesty to be limited to deliberately deceiving someone in a malicious way for your own benefit, when actually it goes far beyond that. You may find yourself being dishonest with the best of intentions. If you are like I was, you hide your feelings or tell lies for any of the following reasons: • To keep a situation stable • To avoid confrontation and conflict • To prevent someone’s feelings from getting hurt • To keep information confidential to ensure someone’s privacy • To avoid hassle, including having to explain yourself or defend your actions So what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with being “nice”? I used to believe that there was nothing wrong with this, that in fact I was being a noble person with high social intuition and emotional quotient (EQ) by keeping the peace and facilitating a happy atmosphere. But then as time passed I realised that I was actually only creating short-term positive outcomes; that unbeknownst to me I was causing long-term negative consequences. By not honestly presenting my feelings about things each and every time I had the opportunity to, I had set some precedents that ended up with something negative I had to overcome later on. ........................will be continues .................................. will be back soon
Posted on: Fri, 13 Sep 2013 08:15:23 +0000
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