Relationships are hard. Thats a given. We all have our ups and downs. Marriages that are also business partnerships are something else completely. 24/7 living in each others pockets. Working together until late into the night. Fighting, side-by-side against the enemies who would take it all from you. At first, it seems romantic. At first, it is. At first. After a few years, though, you realise - you have nothing to talk about outside of the business. Youre both completely exhausted and dont have any energy left for yourselves, let alone for each other. Youve spent 8 months of the year in a hotel room and if you have to spend another 5 seconds in a confined space together someone is going to die. A lot of relationships fail at this point. I think in no small part because its one thing to love someone - another to be confronted on a 24/7 basis with all of their flaws and annoying habits with absolutely no option for escape. I love you - see you in 8 hours, does not exist in business relationships. Then, of course, there are the external forces attempting to drive you apart - from clients, to suppliers, weve even (a very long time ago) had a mentor that suggested to Gulliver that he needed to leave me because I was a toxic spouse. It takes a ridiculous amount of tenacity and stubbornness to get through all of this and maintain the love. 50% of regular marriages fail ... and those people dont have to put up with each others shit all day, every day. Id be fascinated to see someone do a survey of marriages that fail inside of small businesses - I guarantee its more. For all of that - if you can push through the other side - youll find something far stronger than romantic love. Respect. A true understanding of the other person and their talents. Dont get me wrong - I still adore my husband in a stupid, silly lovey way that makes a lot of people want to throw up. But more importantly, I know and understand him on the deepest possible level. I know what drives him. I understand his ambitions and motivations. I see, on a daily basis, the way he fulfils his destiny and works to create a life for his family. His commitment to his clients. The way he strives to be a better person - often failing. Often falling short. But never giving up. We fight. Constantly. But Ive come to see that as a positive thing, so long as we keep the fighting clean - were different. We each have our needs and passions. And neither of us is afraid of expressing that, regardless of the consequences. And whats a relationship without differences? Where people suppress themselves to avoid friction? Friction, tension, polarity - these are the dynamics of attraction. Without them, you lose everything. What we live is a completely different life to most people - and for all of its difficulties, hard lessons, stress and often debilitating exhaustion, I wouldnt change it for the world.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 23:46:12 +0000
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