Resolutions 2015 : Eat fewer bees (they are endangered now). Learn how to drive stick (but only in reverse). Sign up to every self-help seminar I can find, but never show up. Eat more children (they are *EVERYWHERE*). Learn how to summon the Outer Gods (All hail Nyarlathotep The Crawling Chaos!). Learn how to be even less tolerant of customers at work. Write the world’s greatest erotic novel. Travel back in time to prevent the inevitable cyborg uprising. Be a more thoughtful, and understanding person (JK!) Learn how to banish the Outer Gods (Those guys are crazy!). Join The Avengers. Gain 100 pounds for a film role, then hire a personal trainer and lose 140 pounds for a different film role, then bulk up with 140 pounds of muscle for yet another film role. Join The Justice League (Best of both worlds!). Continue my tradition of NEVER watching Titanic (EVER!!). At least once a month go down in the park, where the machmen meet the machines, and play kill by numbers. Make a wish upon a monkey’s paw (The cursed kind, obviously). Re-watch Eraserhead (EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!). Learn how to count cards (especially when playing 52 card pickup. 1,2,3,4,5,6....). Teach a class of intercity youth to love to learn, and reach for their dreams (Then eat them). Write, and star, in a satirical film that offends a powerful dictator, and starts WW III. Single handily win WW III. Write a NEW New Testament (It’s about time for a new one, don’t ya think?). The Scarlet Fever WORLD DOMINATION!! Last, but defiantly not least, try to be more patient towards the people that I’m closest to. Seriously this time. I know I may have been distant, and short tempered this year, but I love you guys, and you mean the world to me. HAPPY 2015 EVERYONE!!
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 19:32:21 +0000
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