Responding to popular OTD comments, Part 2: People often say that among people who leave Hasidism there is a high rate of trauma -- loss, dysfunction, abuse, marital trauma etc., and that if that is true (and it probably is) it stands to reason that the problem that made these people leave the community is not Hasidism, but trauma and dysfunction. The math is clean. Look: Hasidism + dysfunction = leaving Hasidism + NO dysfunction = staying In the equation, dysfunction is the trigger that changes the results. Actually, that’s misleading. If you know anything about Hasidism, you will know that the problem for some people is Hasidism, and the SOLUTION is the dysfunction. Look: Hasidism + dysfunction = an opportunity to leave Hasidism + no dysfunction = too much at stake That is, for anyone who has had a perfectly well-adjusted childhood, had a warm loving family, did a great shidduch, started a family with a nice person with whom they may or may not connect, and then realized that they don’t believe in Hasidism – for them there is almost no way out. They simply have too much invested, are too comfortable, are in a position to hurt too many people to be able to leave. On the other hand people who suffer a high rate of trauma, especially those from dysfunctional families or with dysfunctional marriages who are sidelined by the community because of the dysfunction, have one foot at the door. It’s like assets. The more assets of respect, love, family, support you have in the Hasidic community, the less likely you are to leave these assets, even if you crave freedom, education, opportunity, honesty. Even if you reject its teachings and want another life. = So, yes, you probably see a high rate of dysfunctional situations among the OTDs. It says nothing about them at all except that their path to leaving was clearer. The disenfranchised people in the community who did not suffer trauma or dysfunction have a harder time leaving. They stay. And just because they stay, and don’t post before and after pictures, and don’t make a lot of noise, they are ignored when the math is done. But it doesn’t mean that they don’t have the same criticism of the Hasidic lifestyle or that they aren’t a significant population or that they aren’t suffering. I bet you they are. To avoid falling for this mistake of mislabeling the problem as dysfunction, keep in mind that the OTD population is only a fraction of the population that lost faith in Hasidism. There is a significant invisible constituency IN THE COMMUNITY that feels the same, and ignoring their stories when looking at why people criticize Hasidism is an intellectual fallacy.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 10:33:58 +0000
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