~Retrospect~ (Please excuse my grammatical errors;meds) Today I begin my first of a series of treatments with the VA hospital near my home. Prior to my arrival, I must admit that it was quite the struggle preparing myself physically and mentally for this appointment. God thank you for Monas understanding and support. When I arrived at my appointment, what I saw was so overwhelming, that I became emotionally overloaded. Sensory glands were fully throttled. So much that I couldnt contain myself. I couldnt suppress the feelings of despair that ran rampant through my mind. I actually feared for a moment whether I would be able to live my life this way or not. It wasnt because of my age nor my multitude of issues, but more so because so many of my sisters and brothers in arms were there, plagued with so many different afflictions. All with the same look in their faces. An all too familiar look. A painful hardened look. A look that tears your fabric of faith to shreds. A deathly poise. As we all sat in silence just looking at each other, thats when I thought about all of the combined sacrifices inside of this one room. A brief collection of history and the tattered image of our heroes; some unknown some seemingly forgotten. Some accompanied and others hoping to be remembered. In retrospect, I realized what uncommon valor was really about. As we all waited, I found myself fighting the eyeball sweat with every thread of discipline I could muster. I failed miserably! Ironically, after my eyeball sweating episode, we all began to lift our selves up in our seats, to a more presentable position. A position that exuded a humbled, yet brilliant pride. A public display of our sacrifices despite our failing health. Somehow, we were now all engaged in combat operations, fighting together again, but this time we were all fighting for each other. We were fighting as shameless heroes. We were fighting to preserve our dignity and sense of belonging. We were fighting for the life we were still holding on to. In closing I suppose the lesson for me was to know that I am not alone. I am a part of an unwritten history. I am a hero amongst my fellow disabled veterans. We are proud! Our Pain is a weakness but that weakness is the foundation for our strength. Courage is contagious! I was humbled yet again. ~Just Another Keese-ism~
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 04:34:11 +0000
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