Rick is my soul mate, he was my bestfriend, my husband, my joy. We loved together, laughed together and did most everything together. I always said I was the dreamer and he, my ballast. Anyone who knows us well knew our love was special. It still is. Rick left not because he wanted to, but because our LORD and Savior called him home. Not unlike when he was drafted. Not our choice to be separated. Grieving is a very odd thing. There is no right way, nor is there a wrong. People tell me that all the time. Funny thing is, there appears to be a PERCEIVED right and wrong way. But I think Ive discovered that as a person grieves, others can only travel so far with us before their strength is depleted. Only a very few will be gifted with the ability to see us through the entire process. God gives these special ones the strength to journey the distance. The others get tired of hearing us cry, believing we should be past this pain because they are. Oh how we wish we were over it!!!! Rick has not been gone even a month at this point. In over 43 years we spent exactly 9 nights apart. I MISS him! I miss everything about him. I am anticpating missing him MORE for quite awhile. As I write posts it helps me write out what I dont want to push down inside only to have explode onto those I love at a later date. So i will continue on. Jesus comes, comforts and calls me closer as the honesty of my emtions are realized. As I lay my thoughts, actions and desires at His feet, He strengthens me. I know your prayers are a holy gift that cause me protection and care. He hears them. This grief of mine will continue for a while. A deep grief follows a great love. Our lives overflowed with laughter and love inspite of any circumstances because of Gods great love and our friendship with him. It cant be replaced. The Lord will plan a new way for me to live and serve Him. I will SOMEDAY be able to function rationally and live again. But until then, I will understand if I am too much to travel with and be glad for those that God has called to journey with me. May God bless all who have prayed, helped, love and cared so elegantly for me.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 03:00:37 +0000